It must have happened to you that you said something that you soon regretted saying and wanted to take it back. It has definitely happened to everyone; Because it is human nature to become emotional and to say something out of emotion and without thinking that you will later regret. It is as if something is paralyzing our rational mind. At the same time, our emotional minds allow words to come out of our mouths that should never have been uttered. In this article, we want to know why we should think before we speak and not let our emotions overwhelm us. Stay with us.
It is perfectly normal to get emotional and say things that we regret saying; But some people do it more than usual. Some may have learned from their parents to think twice before uttering sentences. If you can not control your emotions when you are angry, it is better to pay attention to these important reasons and think about them well:
1. Your words are a reflection of your personality
Our parents taught us from childhood not to swear. Not using ugly and insulting words is not only a sign of politeness, but also shows the personality of people. According to Saadi, “until a man does not speak, his flaws and art lie.” So everything you say is a reflection of your personality.
2. Words have power
Undoubtedly many of you are aware of the language change policy. The purpose of this policy is to reduce the negative burden on words; For example, in the past, people who were mentally retarded were called “mentally retarded.” The word is used as an insult these days, and we use the term “mental retardation” to refer to such people. The goal is to reduce their negative power by using more beautiful and positive words.
3. Words can hurt or help people
As we have said before, words have power, and that power can hurt and hurt people emotionally or mentally. It is not unreasonable that a term such as “tongue wound” exists in our dictionary; Because with our language we can hurt the hearts and souls of others.
In addition to being annoying, words can also be helpful. So do not forget the importance of using your words in a way that helps others, not hurts them.
4. Emotions cause you to say things you do not mean
No doubt you have ever been angry with someone and said something that broke their heart. After you have calmed down, you must have said to yourself, “God, I did not mean that.” Anger disables the logical part of your mind and allows your emotions to take control. Remember that the emotional part of the mind cannot filter the words you speak; As a result, you say something that you regret saying.
5. You may have misunderstood the other party’s intentions
You may be upset with someone because you think he or she was trying to harass you, and as a result you may get angry at him or her; But it is better to know that not everyone intends to harass you. Sometimes what people say is interpreted quite the opposite; So be sure to talk to them and do not let misconceptions affect your decisions and behavior.
6. You may be exaggerating
When we think that someone has said something against us or upset us, we feel that we want to explode; But this only happens because we exaggerate our emotions. Before you feel an explosion, as you said above, you need to make sure that you understand what the other person means.
7. Consider a relationship with the other person
You can easily get angry at your friend, sister, brother or spouse and tell them whatever you want, but can you do the same with your boss? Before you say something, you need to assess your relationship with the other person. In addition to the relationship, the situation you are in is also important; For example, at work or at a party, it is better to restrain yourself, and if you are going to say something to your boss that might upset him, say it in the right situation.
8. You may be judging too harshly
Many people judge others before they hear the whole story. It is easy to come to a conclusion, get angry quickly and say things that may be wrong. If you automatically judge and condemn others, it is natural for them to take a defensive stance. When that happens, the conversation escalates into an argument.
9. Words can destroy relationships
In a relationship, the more negative words you use, the more you will destroy your relationship over time. Would you like to spend the rest of your life with someone who insults you and always breaks your heart with his words? Certainly not. Words can ruin your relationship.
10. Words can affect the actions of the other party
Imagine being angry with your 10-year-old daughter and calling her fat without thinking. This is not something that can be easily overlooked and its impact can stay with him for the rest of his life. This may cause him to lose his self-esteem, hate himself, and even try to injure himself. Words are influential and can affect people’s behavior.
۱۱. You can never take back your words
When you say something, it will last forever. You can never get it back. You will definitely try to do this, but to no avail. Trying to get the letter back is like trying to get air back on the balloon. No matter how hard you try; Those professions will last forever.
What should you do now?
So far we have understood why we should think before we speak. Now how can we do that? Thinking before speaking is easy for some people and very difficult and even impossible for some.
The first thing you need to do is wait 5 to 10 seconds before speaking, especially when you are upset or angry. If you can not stop yourself, it is best to leave the place. In this way, you avoid saying something that you will later regret.
When you wait a few seconds or leave the place, you should think about whether there is something important to say and whether your comments are relevant, useful or helpful; Maybe it’s better not to say anything.
Consider the other person’s feelings before you speak. Think about how your words will affect him. Think about what you have already said to him. If you have said something that you did not mean and that has upset him, be sure to take responsibility for it and apologize.
Finally, do not forget that we must always learn from the past. We have all said things so far that we regret saying; But people who always regret what they say have one major difference: they do not learn from their mistakes and do not know how to correct them.
The last word
If you can not control yourself and your emotions overwhelm you when you get angry, do not worry; Because there are many people like you. The important thing is that we all strive to make a positive change in ourselves. Now that you know how important the words you say are, you need to try and change yourself. You can try empathy; That is, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and see what effect your career can have on them.
What do you do in such situations? Are you one of those people who angrily say everything that goes through their minds or are you one of those people who can control themselves? What strategies do you use to control yourself?