Why do men betray ?! Men who have betrayed their cohabitation give creative answers to this question. Sometimes men claim in front of a counselor and the woman they love that their work is not really considered infidelity; Because there was no sex! Sometimes they put the blame on others: the wife, the boss and even other women. There are many women who want to know the answer to this question. Is adultery more common for men than women? Is infidelity more common in men than women? Do some men really consider monogamy a joke? If you are among those who want answers to these questions, join us.
Which group betrays the most?
Undoubtedly, men betray more than women. This is confirmed by Dr. Steven Nock, Professor of Sociology at the University of Virginia. She has been married to more than 6,000 men since 1979. “Once upon a time, when we had to give a reason for separation, that was the most common reason,” says Nock. When it comes to betrayal, men are usually more guilty. “At the same time, society is showing more tolerance for the wrong behavior of men!”
The man who betrays is another man; He has lost his mind. But if a woman betrays, it is a disgrace! According to Mark Epstein, a psychiatrist and author of Accepting Desire: The Lust for Life, infidelity is different for men and women. For men, this is more like a change of taste. They are more comfortable with their partner and the experience mentioned.
Are men’s betrayals biological?
Although women accept separation from the unfaithful husband, they still look for the reason for their husband’s infidelity. As children, we are taught that adults do things when they fall in love. But if we call this love, then the animals are completely in love! Even the path of development of a wise man has passed more to polygamy than to romantic marriage and monogamy.
Dr. Louanne Cole Weston, a marriage and family therapist and sex counselor, believes that in humans, there is a natural desire for procreation in any way. The same thing that has been the cause of human survival. This need still exists in some men. However, some of them succeed in continuing several single marriages in a series.
But the theory of evolution cannot be relied upon much, otherwise men would still have to fight with clubs and clubs. Let’s not forget that many men have a loyal life and relationship; So there may be cognitive-behavioral therapy for the problem, part of which has biological roots; For example, perhaps with the help of counseling, men can stop betraying.
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Men’s reaction to the revelation of betrayal
Most men do not think of other solutions. When their hands are open, they justify their behavior with insignificance and excuses:
- Every man wants to have sex with other women. If they can, everyone will do it.
- Men have to have relationships with many women biologically. Why do I have to be different?
- If I was sexually satisfied in my own house, I would not be unfaithful.
- Most men do this. Ask yourself.
- I would not have thought of betrayal if my wife had not been so fat, treated me better, or treated me better.
- If my job was not so stressful, I would not go to pornographic sites to relieve anxiety.
- Which betrayal? Have fun and have some fun with the ladies in the cafe, which is not a betrayal. This is the entertainment of the dead.
- If the police were looking for real criminals, they would never have arrested me with a stranger woman. They better look for the real criminals!
- I just text and make it nice. What is the harm? I have never seen any of these women up close. This is just a game.
In psychology, such excuses are called “denial”. In denial, the person convinces himself with inner lies and deceptions that his questioning behavior is not a problem. He deceives himself with various excuses. Every reason and excuse leads to new lies. To a neutral third party, like a psychoanalyst, denying a traitorous man is like the laziness of a dilapidated house in a heavy breeze. But they stubbornly insist that their reasons are logical.
Why do men betray?
In fact, various factors play a role in betraying men. In general, men’s decision to betray is rooted in one or more of the following factors.
When a man can not have a committed relationship and does not know that his actions may have serious consequences, he thinks that sexual adventures are okay. According to her, it is a commitment to a monogamous relationship like Katie, who can break it whenever she wants, depending on the circumstances.
2. Current problems
A man may have a problem such as alcohol or substance abuse that affects his decisions. Perhaps his problem is sex addiction, and he involuntarily engages in numerous sexual behaviors and thoughts. By doing so, he relieves himself.
A man may feel insecure thinking that he is not young (or mature enough), handsome, rich, smart, and the like. It is interesting to know that a significant amount of men’s betrayal is rooted in the midlife crisis! To strengthen his pride, a man seeks the approval of other women. He wants to see that other women want him and value him.
4. Ending the relationship, the first method
The man is reluctant to continue the relationship, but instead of talking to his partner, he betrays and forces the woman to react strongly.
5. Ending the relationship, the second method
The man does not want to continue the relationship but does not want to end the relationship before finding an alternative!
6. Lack of masculine friendship
The man underestimates the need for a friendly relationship with other men. According to him, his wife should provide all his social and emotional needs. When this does not happen, the man seeks to meet these needs in another relationship.
7. Ambiguity about commitment and legitimacy
A man may not understand the difference between emotional attraction and long-term love. He confuses chemical secretions – nervous – the beginning of an emotional relationship – called “limrens” – with love. He does not realize that in a long-term, healthy relationship, over time, Limerons is replaced by a less fiery but meaningful one.
8. child abuse
The man may inadvertently react to unresolved childhood problems, such as inattention, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and the like. In such a situation, untreated childhood wounds lead to problems with attachment and intimacy, and a man’s inability or unwillingness to commit to a particular person; Perhaps the thrill of infidelity is a relief to her old wounds.
Some men only care about themselves. Such a man lies and hides without remorse and regret until he gets what he wants. Maybe he has no desire for a single life at all. For her, a marriage contract does not mean a sacrifice to have a healthy relationship. It is permissible for him to ignore this pact.
Sometimes a man believes that he is so special and unique that he deserves to be treated differently and differently from others. The usual rules do not apply to him and he can freely reward himself with relationships outside of his main relationship!
۱۱. Lack of sudden stimulus control
Some men have never thought of betrayal; But as soon as a sudden opportunity arises, they betray without thinking about the consequences.
۱۲. Unrealistic expectations
Some men expect their wives to always serve their sexual and asexual needs, without caring about their spouse’s feelings. Such a man forgets that his wife also has her own life, thoughts and feelings that do not always revolve around her. When this man’s needs are not met, he seeks to meet them elsewhere.
13. Anger and revenge
The man may seek revenge. He is angry with his partner and wants to hit him. In such situations, betrayal occurs. The man does not even bother to hide. Incidentally, he wants his wife to know about the incident.
۱۴. Life process
In youth, people create pleasure and meaning for themselves in different ways. Sometimes the behavior of men who have sex with more than one woman is similar to the behavior of addicts who turn to alcohol or drugs when they are ill. The man’s problem here is that he is no longer the focal point of his wife’s life!
Living together after infidelity
Can an unfaithful man who wants to save his marriage change his behavior? Dr. Weston believes that this depends on the attitude of his wife. Getting advice and being honest about your future behavior is also important. Many lives lead to success after betrayal is exposed; Because many truths are revealed and the words that should have been spoken before are finally expressed.
Many couples forget the importance of honesty in their life together. They hide different things from each other and get to the point where a relationship based on honesty is ruined. When a man sees his relationship as ruined or problematic – even if it is the cause of problems and ruin – he does not realize the value of this relationship. Maybe he gets tired of his relationship and marriage.
According to Dr. Knock, what makes a relationship seem dull is that people forget the benefits of marriage. If you ask a man who is not happy with his relationship, what will happen after the divorce, he will not answer. Most men take a lot of self-control in dealing with the situation after divorce. Women usually perform better than men after divorce. The health and wealth of married men compared to single men is a testament to this claim.
Most of the time, several factors influence men’s decision to betray. Sometimes betrayal is formed by changing living conditions. Whatever the reason, betrayal is not the right thing to do. Men often talk about infidelity as if it is the only logical solution to their problems! Suppose betrayal is one option, but there are many other options. There are always other options: counseling, new hobbies, honesty, talking to your partner and trying to improve or end the relationship. These are better than lying, playing tricks on your spouse, and hiding important secrets from a woman who is truly dear to you. There is always a better option than to devalue yourself and destroy your life together. However, knowing the cause of betrayal can help prevent this from happening again.
It is noteworthy that in different countries with different cultures, men get married after experiencing sexual intercourse; But these men also betray. According to Dr. Nock, the sexual dimension of marriage may not play a significant role in men’s infidelity. The inability to respect the spouse’s expectations and try to meet them are more important elements. After all, this is marriage!
What do you think about this issue? Have you ever considered a relationship with someone other than your spouse? Have you been a victim of infidelity? How do you think this issue should be dealt with? How can it be prevented?