Helping others is a sign of hardship as a sign of mercy! It is true that we enjoy the grace and help of others, but this means that we are in a difficult situation and that our own efforts alone are not enough to get rid of it. However, sometimes it is difficult for us to accept the help of others. In this article we will tell you why sometimes we do not want to accept the help of others. According to Dr. Gregory Jantz, getting help is a three-step process. Dr. Gentz tells you how to go through this process and be able to benefit from the help of others.
Step # 1- Discovering Your Purpose
Sarah reached the border of the first stage and realized that she needed help. Anger and sarcastic behavior had a bad effect on his life. As the situation got worse, friends and family became more and more distant from him. He takes refuge in eating more and more to relax! His relationships became shorter and shorter, and he gained more and more weight. The situation was completely out of his control and he realized that he needed help.
It was not easy for Sarah to confirm this. He had tried for years not to need anyone or anything in his life. He had learned to be self-reliant and to be a person who guides others and reminds them of their duties. According to him, strong people like him do not need help, but help weaker people!
In the first counseling session, Sarah spent most of her time explaining why someone like her did not need help. He was as big as a “no entry” sign! He needed to trust me. He had to let me through the fence he had built around himself. I had to find a way to help him.
Are you familiar with this situation? Can you accept that you need help with some of your behaviors, addictions, patterns, and needs? The first step in getting help is to accept that we need help.
Step 2: Find the helper agent
How do we find the right help? Sarah found help in the counselor’s office. The consultant is one of the sources of help. As well as other people who have something to offer or can help you. Creating an internal relationship, in other words, trust is essential to receiving effective help. Finding the right help is not usually the right path.
In The Inner Monster, Cynthia McClellan describes how, at a time when most people knew nothing about bulimia, she turned to a variety of people for help in finding the right and effective help. Some people (among the experts) just said “stop it”. Others wanted to relieve his pain by prescribing pills. Cynthia knew she needed help. He also knew that the answers and solutions offered to him would not help him. He could not accept these solutions. Eventually he found someone who was willing to go through the inner and difficult path of recovery with him. It was here that he found effective help.
Cynthia did not give up. He resolutely continued to research and question, evaluate, and test answers. Eventually he found someone who knew what bulimia was and could understand Cynthia. A person who has the ability to know us and the ability to provide solutions is a true helper and helper.
Step 3: Accept the help
Let’s go back to Sarah. He knew he needed help. He wanted more control over life. My help to him was: Ask less! Sarah learned that the way to get rid of the problems in her relationship – including her relationship with food – is more self-control. A strong hold on her feelings and shortcomings was something that helped Sarah fight and overcome problems.
Sarah wanted her weaknesses to be completely erased from her life. But I asked him to accept them with open arms! I showed him ways to get rid of perfectionism, a judgmental attitude (judging others), distortions, and negativity. He needed help. I offered to help him. But whether she accepted the help or not was entirely up to Sarah.
The third step is of particular importance. Once you have accepted the need for help and received the offer of help, you must decide whether to accept the help. By accepting help, our lives are connected to the helper. This is where trust comes into play. A helping hand has been extended to you, and now you must take that hand and make your life better. By doing this, you become another person.
How much help do you get from others in the face of adversity? Is it difficult for you to accept that you need help? Were you able to overcome this situation and accept the help of others? Perhaps reading your experience can help others.