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What to do after the end of an emotional relationship with its memories?

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After the end of an emotional relationship, it is natural for vivid and vivid images of its memories to be imagined and remain in our minds. These images find their way into our consciousness; Thinking about some of them is sweet and enjoyable, and thinking about others is just as annoying. Our memory tries to justify and understand the memories that once defined our relationship with the other, and now that the other has left, problems arise. These memories, when the emotional relationship is still in place, strengthen it and connect the two people in the relationship more and more, and in a way, play the role of personal history for them. But after the end of the emotional relationship, our memory becomes involved in the struggle of what to do now with these memories that are no longer fruitful? In this article, we will look for an answer to this question and explore ways to cope with the memories of an emotional relationship after it is over.

1. Put the remaining memories of the relationship in a box and lock it

These memories are tangible signs that remind us of the memories of the relationship. Pathways and pathways form in memory that eventually lead to microdisciplinary memories of the relationship. When these memorabilia are not visible to us, the probability of this happening obviously decreases. Memories of an emotional relationship, like any other experience in life, remain in our minds and there is no escape from them; But by leaving aside the objects and memories that bring these memories to life, we can think less about the past.

You may want to take a look at these memorabilia later; So it is better to refrain from throwing them away or burning them, even if you think that this will make you feel better and you will find a healing ointment.

2. Get help from the memories themselves

Sometimes after the end of an emotional relationship, we miss someone who was then and is not now. We keep thinking that it is impossible to go back to the old routine and continue another relationship. In such situations, it is better to try to recall an unpleasant experience or memory of the relationship. Perhaps the event that caused the relationship to end and not continue is the best choice. Whenever you feel the need, go for this memory. This memory reminds us why the relationship ended.

But there are those who, after the end of the emotional relationship, almost every time they think about the past of the relationship, remember the hurt and suffering that they have suffered for the sake of the other person. To diminish these memories and get rid of them, try to bring to mind events and experiences that bring to mind the human flaws and complexities of the other side of the relationship. These memories are more detailed and require more effort to recall. By thinking about them and putting aside more vivid memories for a short time, you can achieve a kind of balance and get rid of some of the unpleasant events that have been experienced in the relationship.

In our minds, we either praise or criticize those who once played a role in our lives. Suppose, if we miss someone, positive and good images of him are imagined in our minds; On the other hand, if we are angry with someone, images come to mind that confirm this anger. Our task in the meantime is to not let the reins of these memories and images get out of our hands and to balance them with a little more realism: that is, not to raise anyone to the level of a god in the mind, nor to raise anyone. To constantly beat and criticize the wind; Remember that everyone is human and no human being is perfect. Only then can extremist memories persist.

3. Warm up your head with interesting things you did before starting a relationship

This has two advantages: first, it reminds you of yourself before you start a relationship; The second advantage is that over time, the memories of that time become stronger in your mind and to some extent they take the place of some memories after the end of the relationship.

4. Go on a trip

Travel - Memories after the end of an emotional relationship

You do not need to go too far. Signs of the environment play an important role in reliving memories and images, especially if you have just been separated from the other person. You can reduce the effects of these symptoms by traveling. If for any reason you can not travel, start reading a new book instead.

5. Make a small change in your daily life

This is not going to be a big and significant change. Simple tasks such as changing the daily routine from which you go to work or making minor changes in how you perform and handle daily tasks and tasks can be enough to achieve the desired result. These small tasks healthyly change the daily patterns of recalling memories. In this way, you will get rid of some unpleasant images left over from the end of the relationship.

6. Think of other memories

Whenever an image of a memory is inadvertently imagined in your mind, look for another memory that has nothing to do with that memory and think about it. Focus on the new memory as a useful alternative to the previous memory. By doing so, not only can we get rid of the unpleasant memory, but we also do not allow it to find a branch, and it is set aside before the memories associated with it have a chance to come to life.

But why should we look for alternatives? The fact is that if we want to consciously and actively remove a memory from the mind, we must consider an alternative. If we do not, we will not only not be able to get that memory out of our minds, but we will also be able to strengthen its effect. In other words, focusing on thinking about something in particular is another way of thinking about it. Instead of denying the unwanted memory, we should try to replace it and distract ourselves.

7. Be active

The Importance of Being Active - Memories after the end of an emotional relationship

After the end of a more emotional relationship, we tend to be inactive. This inactivity makes us think about the past and the memories come alive over time. In such cases, we should try to keep ourselves busy with work to reduce this possibility. Aerobic exercise is a good choice for this purpose: it both empties our minds of memories and strengthens our spirits. Of course, we do not necessarily mean exercise; Instead, divert your thinking to good things in life, such as warming yourself up.

last word

Memories affect us in different ways: sometimes they instill something in us, sometimes they bother us, and sometimes they bring us peace of mind. Thinking and embodying the image of memories is partly related to our subconscious. We should try to reduce the harmful effect of memory on productivity by making small changes in our daily lives and take control of it as much as possible. Only then can the aftershocks after the end of an emotional relationship be endured and reconciled with its memories.

Source

psychologytoday

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