Masochism is a very common mental disorder. Harassment, self-harm, self-punishment, pain-seeking, unreasonable guilt, and the dozens of other feelings and actions that accompany pain may all be signs of masochism. If you have even one of these symptoms and feelings, we suggest you stay with us until the end of the article.
What is masochism?
Masochism is a mental disorder in which a person feels satisfied by hurting himself. These injuries may be mental or physical. In fact, the masochist or harasser puts himself in painful situations to achieve pleasure.
To better understand the self-awareness of self-harm, here are some common examples:
- Consider a person who does strange and sometimes inhumane acts in order to be seen on social media. In doing so, he exposes himself to harsh criticism and insults from people, which are very annoying. However, hearing that insult pleases the person and may even be enjoyable for him.
- Have a great day, you have a good time and everything is going well. But you feel guilty and you are constantly waiting for something bad to happen. Feeling guilty about something good means that you do not consider yourself worthy of happiness; Because there are people who have a very bad life situation and despite them, you have no right to be happy. That way, you feel like you’re a good person who cares about others. This thought satisfies you.
- Suppose you have an important project in hand and you have to deliver it within the next 2 weeks. You can easily prepare this project in the best way by doing 2 hours a day. But you leave it until the last day. So you leave your work for “90 minutes”. In this case, you are exposing yourself to extreme stress and constantly blaming yourself. In this case, you feel satisfied with self-blame. This feeling of satisfaction motivates you to finally do the project.
Have you read the book “Venus Fur”?
Venus Fur (in French: Venus four la fourrure) Is a French masochistic novel. The term Masochism is derived from the name of the author of the book, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch. This erotic novel narrates the emotional and sexual fantasies of an abusive man. In this regard, the man of the story is harassing, and the woman of her dreams is haunting. The book later attracted the attention of many psychologists, and the male-dominated motives of the subject became the subject of much modern psychoanalytic analysis. In fact, the events of this book are a clear example of the daily life of many masochistic people in the real world.
What is the psychological root of masochism?
Many masochistic behaviors are rooted in a person’s childhood; For example, consider a 4-year-old child who takes money out of his mother’s purse without permission. The mother, imagining and fearing that the child has stolen, imposes a punishment on her that does not correspond at all to the size and severity of the act (for example, she burns his hand with a hot spoon); But the child does not know the meaning of stealing at all and does not understand why he was punished, so severely!
The child becomes angry with his mother for the pain he is suffering; But she has been told that she is a holy mother. Simultaneously with the feeling of pain and anger, because of his anger towards the holy being, he also feels guilt. He knows that in order to be a good child for his mother, he must suppress his anger and give the right to his mother. He feels satisfied thinking that he will now become a good person by suppressing his anger. The child brings this pattern with him to adulthood and repeats it to achieve satisfaction.
Recognize the 5 most common signs of masochism
It may be good to know the symptoms of masochism so that if we see them in ourselves or those around us, we can take the necessary treatment measures.
1. Inability to reject the requests of others
One of the signs of masochism is that one does not have the ability to say no, because one thinks that this is far from knowledge and friendship. The person is willing to put himself in a difficult situation to satisfy others and to accept their requests. Although the person becomes difficult in this situation, this subconsciously makes him feel satisfied; Because others will acknowledge him.
2. Excessive effort to get better
Excessive exercise, very strict diets, reduced sleep hours, and increased study may be signs of masochism. Sometimes a person forces himself to do things that are annoying to him; Just because he thinks he has to do them to get better.
3. Excessive laziness
Being lazy is sometimes good and gives you a chance to rethink your thoughts. However, if this laziness causes all your work to be postponed to the last moment, there are probably signs of masochism in you. You may subconsciously try to arouse the feeling of stress and self-punishment (both of which are characteristic of masochism) in order to be satisfied.
4. Staying in annoying relationships
Annoyingly Libran – always rational, easily hurt emotionally, very passionate and maybe a little too intense. Whether a person is willing to stay in such relationships or just choose such relationships is a sign of masochism. If you always have to work hard to get your emotional partner’s attention, if your emotional partner has betrayed you many times and is still in a relationship, if you have been repeatedly disrespected, insulted and physically harmed by your emotional partner and still adhere to that relationship, you probably You have a more severe form of masochism.
5. Feeling guilty for no reason
People with masochism constantly feel guilty for no reason. When they receive a gift, they feel they do not deserve it. When they are praised, they are not accepted, and when they feel happy, they expect something bad to happen. All of this is because of the guilt that always accompanies them for no reason; They seem to have committed a crime, but they do not know what a crime!
Answers to common questions about masochism
1. Is there a cure for masochism?
Treatment of masochistic mental disorder, if not genetically rooted, is possible with psychotherapy and the help of psychoanalysis. The therapist first helps to identify oneself and explores the roots of masochism. In the next stage, when a person becomes aware, he tries to take control of his thoughts by so-called “clenching” himself while expressing masochistic feelings and behaviors.
2. Is it possible that masochism is genetic?
Yes, the gene that causes masochistic behaviors in a person is called OXT. Of course, people with this gene are more prone to sexual masochism. In genetic masochism, medication under the supervision of a therapist and psychiatrist is one of the most proven treatments.
3. What is sexual masochism?
In this type of self-harm, a person tends to engage in violent behaviors during sex, such as flogging, strangulation, beatings, and the like. In fact, these people do not feel pleasure and satisfaction in gentle sex.
4. What is the difference between masochism and sadism?
Sadism is the opposite of masochism. The masochist, as we have said, must be persecuted in order to achieve satisfaction. This harassment can be physical, verbal or emotional. However, a person with sadism must hurt others in order to achieve satisfaction. Sadism is more dangerous for society; Because people who have sadistic behaviors may even commit murder.
5. In emotional relationships, can sadistic and masochistic people be good complements to each other?
Most people think so. Usually the person who likes to be bullied is looking for someone who will welcome the bullying. The combination of sadism and masochism may perpetuate the relationship; But in any case, this relationship is not healthy. A child who is the result of such a relationship will suffer the greatest psychological damage.
The last word
Awareness of mental health is one of the most important things a person should do for themselves. Masochism is a common disorder that many of us, with its low severity, probably have. You may also have symptoms of this disorder; Such as unreasonable guilt, striving for perfection, tolerating toxic relationships, and the like. However, you should know that the first step in any treatment is to reach awareness.
What is your experience of bullying and self-punishment? Are any of those around you involved in masochism? Were you punished as a child in such a way that you thought you were not right? Share your thoughts with us in the “Post a Comment” section.