Have you ever been scared or anxious to express your opinion? Do you not express your opinion in public meetings or gatherings for fear of being judged by others? If the answer to these two questions is yes, then your behavior is a fear of comment. You are not alone and many people experience this condition. Fear of expressing an opinion or expression is different from fear of speaking in public. In this article, we will talk about the fear of expressing an opinion or the fear of expressing a detailed opinion. Stay with us.
What is the fear of expressing an opinion?
We want to be accepted in society as social beings. We fear rejection and seek coping strategies to help us overcome this fundamental fear. However, there are some people whose anxiety is so severe that they avoid expressing their views in any field for fear of being judged by their family, friends or peers. This behavior means avoiding expressing one’s opinion because of fear of judgments and reactions of people, fear of expressing one’s opinion. Satisfying others at all costs and behaving in a popular manner is rooted in poor self-esteem and lack of self-confidence.
How is the fear of expression formed?
When we are born, our survival depends on our caregiver and meeting our needs. As we grow, we become curious about the world around us and begin to explore. As we continue to grow, we discover the world through our experiences and shape our thoughts, opinions, and attitudes.
If we are a curious child, we may ask a lot of questions or break some boundaries. If these questions are answered with love and respect, this behavior gives us the feeling that we are good in our original identity. In this way, we see the world as a safe place as we move towards adulthood. We learn to trust and respect and value the opinions of others.
On the other hand, if our views and opinions are not responded to as children or are met with hostility, judgment and criticism, the fear of rejection will form in us and we will retreat. We interpret this behavior in such a way that our opinions have no value and we should not express it. In this way we think we are not good and our greatest fear will be rejection by others. This fear of rejection will lead to the fear of expressing an opinion, and thus we will always be afraid to express our opinion.
This behavior causes us to hide in certain circumstances to avoid the possibility of judgment or feeling inadequate. Unfortunately, this behavior eventually leads to feelings of helplessness, failure, and social anxiety.
How can we learn to express ourselves?
Take a moment to think about the reasons why you are afraid of being judged. What causes this behavior? In most cases, the answer to this question goes back to our early childhood or school experiences. In most cases, we attribute our positive or negative inner dialogue (the way we talk to ourselves in our heads) to others; For example, if I want to tell myself that I am stupid and no one wants to hear what I have to say, I attribute it to others. I think they think so of me.
The judgment we make about ourselves is far worse than the judgment others make about us. We think that other people are smarter, wiser and smarter than we are, and we often attribute old childhood memories or how our family or peers treated us to this day. Changing your mindset and behavior can be scary; Especially when you have habitually thought and acted in the same way and have done nothing else. Always acknowledge to yourself that your thoughts and ideas are valuable and that others do not know everything.
How can we overcome the fear of comment?
Here are some tips to help you overcome your fear of commenting and boost your self-confidence:
- Think about your personal accomplishments and focus on the things you value for yourself;
- Use the positive emotions in your body to recall times when you felt confident and empowered to do something. Express those feelings and reinforce them in your body;
- Remember, everyone is afraid of being rejected and judged by others, so you are not alone. If someone is judging you with confidence, see this behavior as a reaction on their part. only this!
- When people judge others, they decide to cover up many of their weaknesses and insecurities in this way, so take a moment to think about what is going on in them that they feel needs to judge you;
- Examine the root of your fears. What are your beliefs about yourself and why? Where do these beliefs come from?
- Be aware of your feelings. When you experience a distressing feeling, ask yourself, “What happened to my life the first time I felt it?” It may be a living memory, and you can look at it objectively and ask yourself, “What did I learn from this memory that allows me to let go of my feelings about it?” By allowing these distressing feelings to occur and realizing where they came from, they begin to disappear much faster than when you run away from them.
- If you fail, consider it an opportunity to learn, do different things, and grow. Be kind to yourself.
Why not be afraid to have a different opinion with your team?
Have you ever been in a team where everyone on the team seems to have the same opinion and everyone agrees on everything? This may seem great in theory; But when everyone always agrees with each other, it may mean that great ideas are not being put forward or that they are not being considered at all.
The strength of a team comes from the different backgrounds, levels of experience and skills of the members. If everyone is going to think alike, you really do not need a team. If none of the team members come up with a new idea, what is the reason for meeting them to discuss it? Therefore, to create a team that is not only cohesive but also constructive and progressive, it is important to encourage everyone to share their constructive ideas, feedback and criticism. The result will be bigger and better ideas.
How to deal with the fear of expressing our opinion in the team?
Variety of thought brings you uniqueness. Thinking in your own way and expressing your opinion shows your true self and makes you look at everything from your own point of view. This is something that can make a concept or a thought or a suggestion really valuable. That is why it is important to think about diversity in a broader sense. It is about the unique ideas and perspectives that people have gained from their past careers and experiences.
The driving force behind a great team is often the ability of team members to work together, take advantage of continuous feedback and innovation. If you have trouble commenting or giving feedback, try one of the following:
A template for feedback
Do to […] Have you thought? Based on my experience [تجربهتان را میگویید]This method works better because [دلیلتان را میگویید].
Can you explain the thinking behind your idea? I want to make sure I understand you correctly.
What was the catalyst for this idea?
Have you thought about that [شخص موردنظر] Ask your opinion about this? I think he can use his experiences as a [عنوان/ شرح شغل] Offer good advice.
Encourage people to talk
Try to share a new idea with others to give people a chance to understand your proposal. Then, ask everyone to come up with your idea with 1 or 2 questions or suggestions. It challenges people and makes them feel comfortable when they are shy or unsure.
Email template Encourage people to talk
Hello team members!
Before tomorrow’s meeting, I wanted to post an idea I would like to talk about.
[درج تعریفی از ایده و هرگونه استدلال حمایت از آنچه این مسئله را حل خواهد کرد و توضیح اینکه چرا مهم است].
I would like to know everyone’s opinion on this, because I care about the team’s point of view; So I ask you to join me with any feedback, good or bad.
And the last word…
Remember that change takes time and you should never give up trying to change. You will have a positive experience every time you learn how to let go of your judgment and let go of the fear of expressing yourself. In this way, you feel your self-confidence increases and you learn to love yourself!
Have you experienced this situation? What strategy have you used to overcome it? Share your opinions and experiences in this field with us and our dear users.