People come into our lives and then different scenarios can form. Sometimes they become our eternal friends and in some cases our relationship with them ends. Sometimes we end the friendship and sometimes we have no role in it. In any case, we must learn to manage the end of the friendship. In this article, we will talk about ending a relationship. What is the proper behavior in such situations?
If we voluntarily end our friendship with someone, we must know how to do it respectfully. Even if we do not play a role in the end of our friendship, we need to learn to deal with it properly. In general, severing friendships and ending relationships also requires learning etiquette and principles.
Of course, before ending a friendship, we must ask ourselves why this is necessary and whether we are ready to end the friendship.
Why does a friendship end at the end of the line?
Human relationships are complex. Sometimes we are friends forever with someone who, at the first moment of meeting, did not even think that the person in front of us could find the privacy of our soul. Sometimes in the very first seconds of meeting a person, we realize that our hearts and souls are ready to accept the true friendship in life that has a pleasant presence for us.
However, friendships end for a variety of reasons. Sometimes entering into emotional relationships such as marriage interferes and diminishes friendships, and sometimes busyness and life events such as migration and being away from a friend. Sometimes friendships seem to end abruptly; But the fact is that this is not always the case. Sometimes the relationship between two people gradually rots like a rope and separates in an instant.
What questions should we ask ourselves before ending a friendship?
As mentioned, there are many reasons to end a friendship. Getting to the bottom line when both sides agree is easy. If you are a party to a relationship that for various reasons do not want to continue the friendship and you are hurt in the relationship, you should put an end to it and not be afraid of anything.
But always before ending friendships:
- Take a close look at the situation And ask yourself Is there a need to end the relationship? Or you can manipulate the intensity and depth of your friendship; For example, see if you can reduce the number of visits and your intimacy, or your choice is one hundred percent separation.
- Check that How much do you want to end the relationship?. Know that you want to separate from your friend immediately or that an erosive problem has pushed you to the end of the relationship. Maybe it’s annoying. If so, talking to your boyfriend is likely to solve your relationship problem.
- try Discover the factors that lead your friend to a dead end and an unpleasant point. You do not need to talk to your friend to find out, and you need to be alone with yourself and see how your relationship has changed. This personal solitude and thinking will help you in further personal growth and exploring the path of friendship.
There are other questions you need to ask yourself:
- How will you feel after the end of the friendship?
- How do you put an end to a friendship with the other person?
- With the end of friendship, what new things open up in your life?
What is the way to end a friendship?
Ending a friendship is a little difficult. You must know the way of this path well. Knowing the following steps in this regard will not be without merit:
1. Recognize your role in your relationship problems
Never go to the judge unilaterally. If you have problems with your relationship, ask yourself what your role was and what your share of relationship problems was. If you walk away from the shore of logic, you will stumble across waves of decision-making mistakes. Know that every relationship consists of two people. Always consider your contribution to the formation of annoyances and problems fairly and see what you have done, your relationship has taken on an unpleasant color or how you have reacted to other behaviors.
Is it right to think that you are perfect and that all the problems are on your friend? A friend can be your mirror; That is, you gain better self-knowledge through communication with him; So the problem in the relationship may be a reflection of your misbehavior. Maybe part of your behavior is wrong and this is reflected in your friendship.
If you think well about yourself and measure your share of friendship problems, you are more likely to find fault with yourself. This issue has wide dimensions. Maybe it is not your fault directly and your friend has the wrong behavior and reactions towards you. However, the point is that by thinking about your friendship situation, you may find that some of your behaviors are flawed and you have not been able to teach your friend how to treat you.
۲. Check the status
Do not hit God without water. As mentioned earlier, ask yourself questions about the quality of the relationship and the reasons for the end, and answer them carefully. You need to know how and with what literature you want to end your friendship. If the other party also wants to end the friendship, your job will be much simpler. However, if the desire to end a relationship is one-sided, you need to spend time and use the appropriate literature and methods.
Talking is always a desirable and civilized way to correct and treat relationship problems. See that with its help you can solve your problem and maintain your friendship; For example, if one of the reasons for your friendship is the other person’s inattention, talk to him or her about it. Tell him why he comes to you late and does not respond to your messages. Talk about your relationship problems.
If the problem is unsolvable; There is no need to have a conversation and you should put the end point with a bold pen next to the last sentence of your friendship. Remember there is no need to train for micro-reasons. Once you are sure of your decision, there is no need to argue. Of course, if the reason for ending your relationship is very bold and clear, it might be a good idea to announce it.
3. Make your choices light and heavy
Do not think of separation and end when you have any problem in friendship. Always make your choices light and heavy. Friendship is not like family relationships; There is no compulsion in it and there is always a choice. See how your friendship is. Is there a need for temporary separation?
Perhaps your boredom with friendships stems from the quality of the relationship; For example, you may be associating too much with a friend and you are tired of it. In fact, monitor the quality of the relationship, and if it is possible to continue your friendship with changes, do not think about ending the relationship.
4. Give your opinion and appreciate your friend
Dialogue is an example of civilization. Always pay attention to it and consider it a tool for solving problems. Get help from talking to announce the end of friendship; Of course, with language that is understandable, acceptable and appropriate for the other party. Know the right way to present your decision; For example, you can raise the issue of separation in a face-to-face meeting over the phone or even in a letter.
Do not disrespect your friend in this way and even tell him that you value your friendship; But you can no longer or will not want to continue your relationship. To begin, it is best to make an introduction and briefly give reasons for starting your conversation.
People usually become defensive or angry in such a situation. These are normal. However, more severe and irrational reactions such as harassment, abuse, threats and attacks are not acceptable. Review the good moments of your friendship and be grateful to your friend for them. Do not forget you may see your friend again. You should not behave in such a way that you will be caught in an awkward and difficult situation in the future.
There is another way to end a relationship: fading. What do you mean? This means that instead of telling your friend about the end of a relationship all at once and openly, gradually reduce your relationship with him. If you go out together 3 times a day, increase this figure to once a week or in 2 weeks. As communication decreases, friendship will gradually take its last breaths.
5. Mourn for this end
It is natural to mourn the end of a relationship. Do not blame and control yourself. You have the right to be upset to reach such a point in friendship. After all, ending a friendship is a loss, and it is not uncommon to feel sad about it. Give yourself the right to be upset. Find a way to express your anger and frustration. If you can sympathize with someone who has no role in your relationship and is neutral. Write down your feelings or find a way to soothe the grief.
6. Do not follow your ex
On social media, stop following your ex-boyfriend and give yourself time to normalize the separation and prepare for a possible meeting with him / her by chance in another environment. You may see a mutual friend at a party. You need to give yourself time and prepare for such a situation.
at the end
Ending friendships has many dimensions. Sometimes it is your wish and sometimes it is the result of the unilateral wish of the other party. In any case, you need to learn to manage your relationships as an adult and lead them in the direction that has the least amount of psychological damage.
What are you doing to end the relationship? Do you have experience in this field? How did it go?