One of the most important changes in society in the last few decades has been the increase in divorce rates and the emergence of the phenomenon of “single parents”. Regardless of the gender of single parents, things like raising children, taking care of the house and maintaining a healthy social life are big challenges that few can handle. Most of us have a laid back attitude when it comes to painting a picture about ourselves and our parents. Most of us have a laid back attitude when it comes to painting a picture about ourselves Be, Regardless of the specific living conditions of single mothers. These sentences may have serious negative effects on the morale of single parents, and this is not good for anyone. In the following, for you Short list of sentences I have prepared That you should never tell single parents.
1. Why do not you enter into a relationship?
It is clear that most of the time we do not mean this badly and we just want to remind the single parents we know that it is not bad to get out of it alone.
Sometimes this question is accompanied by an offer to meet someone who might make things worse. The fact is that parents are only better aware of their own circumstances than anyone else and do not see the need for a new person to enter their lives. It is better to leave the decision to enter or not to enter the relationship to themselves.
2. You must take a breath and do your work when there are no children
Caring for, caring for and raising children these days, even alone, is not an easy task. Occasionally, when children are not, there is a short opportunity to rest and get away from the constant pressure of caring for children; So it is no surprise that most of its use for single parents is to rest and regain lost energy.
.In addition, there is always a lot of backlog that needs to be addressed and addressed. When kids are not home for whatever reason, this is usually the only time they can do it. So when single parents have free time, do not offer them extracurricular activities.
Finally, for single parents, being away from their children is not a privilege, and they, like all parents, miss their children; So the notion that they breathe in the absence of children is not very correct and may make you more unaware.
3. Where is his / her parent now? How is he / her?
This is one of the worst questions a single parent can ask. Because in addition to violating one’s privacy, it is also a trivial question. As long as life goes on as usual and the children have enough peace and well-being, what does it matter where the parent is no longer in the person’s life? In addition, such a question may leave parents alone in the awkward position of discussing issues. Put Who do not like it; Which is not fair at all.
4. How do you cope?
Such a question is like asking someone how you drive or how you go to work. Humans learn to adapt to circumstances. Just as an adult gradually learns to take on more and more responsibilities at the same time throughout his or her life, parents alone learn how to do their best to provide for their children, despite all their shortcomings. Also, parents may not have a partner alone, but they are not necessarily isolated and have family, friends and co-workers in the social circle around them who help them take care of their children.
5. Being a parent is hard at the same time, isn’t it?
Parents just do not need to be reminded of this Do not have That one person is doing something for two people. Mothers do not need to be reminded only how much they work hard to play the role of parents at the same time. Fathers need more than just praise for cooking for their children. Expressing support and sympathy is not a bad thing, but remember not to overdo it. In addition, mothers may only have some of the responsibilities of fathering their children, but they never try to be a complete replacement for the father; Because this is not possible. So please do not create additional psychological burden for them by saying such sentences.
6. I know how it is! My wife also goes on a lot of missions
No, you do not know! Talking about your spouse going on business missions and trying to compare your situation with your mother is really annoying. This is like comparing apples to oranges! In fact, mothers’ lives are not defined by the absence of a partner alone. You can not and should not be alone for a few days Put them together That these parents are the only ones involved and sometimes it goes on for years. Even if your spouse is away, he or she will eventually be available with a phone call, eventually coming home and living with you. You can not cope with such situations with the life of parents alone compare They are supposed to live alone and take care of their children for an unknown period of time.
7. Did you think if you had no children, where would you be now in your job?
This is a question that may come to all parents at some point in their lives; But it is definitely a very personal matter and not something you want to ask someone else about. It is true that having children changes the way parents live, but for the same reason, most parents can not imagine their lives without their children. Many mothers prefer to have their child alone to great career success, and many fathers are only willing to change their career path for the welfare of their children.
8. Does the child see his father / mother? Does your ex-spouse help at all?
No matter how close you are to the person, This question It is useless. Again, as long as the children are well-off and comfortable, there is no need to ask about whether or not the parents of a single parent are partners and how much they are involved in raising the child.
Also, think about how knowing this will affect your relationship with single parents you know. Are you going to play a role in their lives? Have they asked you for help? If the answer to these questions is no, never ask this question to single parents.
9. Why don’t you have time to go out at all?
No need to explain; Raising children, on their own, is time consuming and tedious. As a result, many parents spend most of their free time resting and regaining lost energy. These are not scheduled leisure time and may allow for some rest at any time of the day; But these times are by no means comparable to the time, energy, hassle, and sometimes the cost of leaving parents alone.
Going out for parents only means twice planning and two sets of expenses (one for themselves and the other for getting a babysitter) and this is not always possible. So most of the time, if you want to spend time with single parents, you have to go to them and realize that their situation is very different from yours.
10. Where are your children?
If you see single parents you know without their children, please do not ask them where the children are. Of course, parents are not present and do not forget their children just without knowing their situation. This question is not only useless, it really concerns only the parents of the child, and your question will be of no use to anyone.
11. Do you not regret having children?
Most of us have a laid back attitude when it comes to painting a picture about ourselves. But this idea is not close to reality at all. You can rarely find a parent who truly regrets having children, and if so, it is usually because of something other than the children themselves. Parents just like all parents love their children, and the question of whether or not they regret having a child will only upset them.
12. You asked for it
It is true that we should try not to go into the details of the lives of single parents as much as possible, but this advice does not mean that we should be indifferent to single parents when they come to us for advice or to express their problems. It is true that they have chosen their own living conditions, but this does not deprive them of the right to complain and complain about life. Please do not make things harder for them by saying things like “you wanted to”, “it was your choice” and “did you not know that raising a child is not an easy task”.
Parents with only a few people can tell the details of their lives and problems To share with those involved. If you have been chosen as the patient stone and the secret of their secret, it is better to respect this choice and give them the necessary energy and spirit to continue the path.
13. Do you receive alimony / financial assistance?
This is a question that is often asked by single mothers. It is also one of the worst questions you can ask. Apart from the fact that alimony, as enacted in the Family Protection Law of our country, can not significantly contribute to the livelihood of single mothers (even in the current economic situation), by asking in this regard, willingly or unwillingly, enters the most private dimensions of the relationship. You will become an individual.
The legal process of getting financial help from an ex-spouse can be very long and ultimately futile, so many mothers just give up on pursuing it. In addition, whether or not you receive financial assistance from your ex-spouse to care for your children cannot and should not affect your judgment of the person.
14. Children are more comfortable without an ex-spouse
No, it is not, and it is not right at all to say that. Children need their parents equally, and no child – except in very special circumstances – can live better without one parent. Deciding on separation and custody of children is not an easy task at all, especially for single mothers, and there are many serious concerns that need to be addressed. Unless you are in such a situation, you can not comment on how many. So it is better not to get involved in such a subject at all.
What destructive questions or comments do you think are missing from this list? What professions might create a negative psychological burden for single parents that we have neglected? If you come up with something out of the ordinary, then they have to re-think their position.