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Reasons to cry after or during sex

Study guide

If you have ever cried during or after sex, do not worry. This is perfectly normal and you are not alone. Clinically, crying after sex is known as post-sexual discomfort (PCD). Symptoms of PCD may include crying, sadness, and irritability after intercourse, even if the intercourse is completely satisfactory. This can happen to anyone, regardless of gender or sexual orientation. In this article, we will examine the reasons for crying after sex.

1. Happiness

A wide range of emotions can make you cry, and not all of them are bad. You have probably experienced, or at least witnessed, tears of joy caused by great happiness. The same thing can happen during or after sex. Maybe the reason for crying is that you have fallen in love with one hundred hearts or maybe you have experienced the best sex. If you have not had sex for a long time or have been waiting for a long time, these feelings may become even more intense.

۲. Disorder caused by your body reaction

Have you just experienced the biggest orgasm of your life? Was this your first experience with multiple orgasms? No wonder intense sexual pleasure makes you cry. The opposite is also true, and you may be upset that your body is not responding. If you’ve been looking forward to great sex but have not achieved the desired result, you may also be so frustrated and tense that you cry.

3. Biological response

Some estimates suggest that 32 to 46 percent of women experience PCD, but little research has been done to determine the cause. This may be due to hormonal changes that occur during sex and can lead to intense emotions. In addition, crying may be a mechanism for reducing stress and intense physical arousal. If you have been in a relationship for a long time, the sudden release of all that sexual energy can definitely bring you to tears.

4. the pain

There are many causes for sexual pain. Pain in a marital relationship is called dyspareunia, which includes pain during or after intercourse for the following reasons:

  • Trauma or stimulation of the genitals;
  • Vaginal or urinary tract infection;
  • Eczema or other skin diseases near the genitals;
  • Vaginal muscle spasm (vaginismus);
  • Congenital anomalies.

Sexual pain associated with sex is treatable. Be sure to see your doctor if sex is painful for you. If your sexuality involves any amount of pain that you are not comfortable with, talk to your partner about how to have sex without causing physical pain.

5. Anxiety

Crying is a natural reaction to stress, fear and anxiety. In general, when you feel anxious, it is difficult to give up having sex. Your body may be moving, but your mind is somewhere else that makes you cry. Sometimes you may be anxious about your performance during sex. You may be worried about whether or not you have been able to meet your spouse’s expectations well. Whatever the cause of your anxiety, it can make you cry.

6. Feeling ashamed or guilty

Sometimes you feel so guilty or ashamed during sex that it makes you cry. At some point in your life, someone may have told you that sex is inherently bad, especially in certain areas. You do not have to accept these ideas and they come to your mind at the wrong time.

Sometimes the reason for shame can be the fear of not being seen naked. Sometimes it may be the shame and guilt of the residual effects of other things in your life that show up in the bedroom. If you are a person who finds sex a shameful act, it is important to forget these feelings in order to have comfortable and enjoyable sex.

7. Confusion

Confusion after sex is a natural thing. Did you think that everything was going differently and now something contrary to your imagination has happened? You told your spouse that you did not like something, but he did it again? You thought you could meet her expectations, but now she is clearly unhappy or upset?

Unresolved issues and emotional confusion from a relationship can also damage your sex life. You may have different opinions about where you are in her life right now or how the other person really feels about you. Sex is not always great. Sometimes one or both couples become confused and frustrated, and this feeling can cause them to cry during or after sex.

8. Depression

If you cry constantly, it may be a sign of depression or other mental health problems that you need to be aware of.

Other symptoms of depression may include:

  • Discomfort;
  • Frustration, irritability or anger;
  • Anxiety;
  • Trouble sleeping, restlessness or fatigue;
  • Loss of concentration or memory;
  • Change in appetite;
  • Unknown pains;
  • Loss of interest in normal activities such as sex.

PCD levels are higher for people with postpartum depression. This may be due to rapid hormonal fluctuations.

9. Experience sexual abuse in the past

If a person has been sexually abused in the past, certain movements or situations may cause painful memories. This can make a person feel particularly vulnerable, and in these situations crying is an understandable reaction. If this problem persists, the person may not need to have sex for a while. Seeing a therapist is also very helpful in strengthening coping skills.

What should we do in this situation?

See your doctor for pain or physical discomfort before, during, or after sex. Many of these pains are treatable.

Otherwise, think about why you are crying. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

  • Did I just shed a few tears or did I really cry?
  • What was on my mind when I started crying? Were my thoughts pleasant or annoying?
  • Was I experiencing an offensive event or relationship again?
  • Did this cry reduce or intensify my tension?

If the reason for crying is pure love or physical pleasure, you do not need to worry.

If crying is related to emotional issues in the relationship or the bedroom, here are some solutions you can try:

  • Give yourself time. The next day, when you have time for yourself and you can fully discover your feelings, ask yourself these questions again.
  • Talk to your spouse. Talking about your relationship can solve problems and increase sexual pleasure.
  • Talk about sex. Talk about your sexuality, interests, and red lines. Be careful not to speak in a bad tone. Just talk about the feelings you have during the relationship and ask your spouse for his or her opinion.

How to deal with your spouse crying during or after sex?

It can be surprising to see your spouse cry suddenly during or after sex. It can also make you feel guilty, worried or anxious. The most important thing to do is to talk about it. Do not pass by it as if nothing had happened. Sometimes your partner’s crying during sex can be caused by emotional issues or problems that are entirely up to you.

Reassure him and, if he needs to be alone, respect his wishes. Show her that you understand her feelings and ask her how you can help. Do not rush into having sex until both of you have reached a definite conclusion on the matter.

Concluding remarks

Crying during or after sex is not uncommon. There is usually no reason to worry, but it can be a sign of deeper issues that need to be addressed. If this happens all the time, it may be helpful to talk to your therapist about what you are experiencing. The therapist can help you understand why you are crying and address the major concerns.






Reasons to cry after or during sex

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