Premarital counseling is one of the best ways couples can get help to prevent problems in the future of their married life. This is especially true for young and young couples who do not know much about married life and its problems and may make emotional decisions. Couples who intend to attend these sessions are likely to have questions about premarital counseling that not everyone is competent to answer due to the sensitivity of the issue. That’s why we went with Ms. Masoumeh Ghanbari, a psychologist and family counselor, who will answer frequently asked questions about this.
Introduction of Ms. Masoumeh Ghanbari, psychologist and family counselor
This article is the result of a conversation between “How” and Ms. Masoumeh Ghanbari, an expert consultant. In the following, we will provide you with more information about their backgrounds and specializations, and then we will go to the common questions about premarital counseling.
Expertise: Psychologist and family counselor
– Master of Counseling and Guidance
– 28 years of consulting experience
– Member of the Iranian Psychological and Counseling Organization
– Active in the field of dealing with the harms of divorce in cooperation with the branches of family courts
– Author of the book Random Divorces
Answers to 11 common and important questions about premarital counseling
1. What is premarital counseling and what is discussed in these sessions?
After the girl and the boy first get to know each other, they encounter questions, challenges, and issues that are sometimes rooted in differences about their upbringing and upbringing environment, and sometimes rooted in differences over their personality structure. These questions need to be answered in the presence of the consultant and the ambiguities that arise for the parties need to be resolved. In premarital counseling sessions, the first step will be to resolve such ambiguities.
۲. Does everyone need premarital counseling?
Yes, everyone needs premarital counseling. Of course, the degree of familiarity between the parties can play an effective role in determining the number of sessions required for counseling. The more they get to know each other and the longer the acquaintance lasts, the fewer sessions will be needed.
3. What are the benefits of premarital counseling and how much can it help us?
Premarital counseling has many benefits, the most important of which is the knowledge that the parties have of each other. When two families encounter each other, they usually confuse some issues or do not talk about them at all due to some communication, family and family disabilities.
In premarital counseling, a space is provided for the parties and their families in which they can talk openly and resolve all the mentioned ambiguities with the help of a counselor. The consultant can advise them as a third party and provide them with adequate training.
4. Given the experience of a couple remarrying, is premarital counseling necessary?
It can be said that one of the most important premarital counseling is counseling for a second marriage. Those who plan to remarry due to the death of a spouse or divorce need counseling more than others; Why? For the following two reasons:
- These people often suffer from depression and remnants of a previous marriage that need to be addressed in premarital counseling sessions;
- These people also make comparisons and disproportions with their second spouse, which should also be considered in premarital counseling.
5. What is the process of premarital counseling sessions?
It is not possible to imagine a specific norm for the process of counseling sessions, and this process will vary depending on some factors. The most important factor is the therapeutic approach that the psychologist or family counselor believes in and manages counseling sessions accordingly.
Another determining factor relates to couples seeking counseling; Suppose they are several years old and so on. An increase in the number of sessions is likely if the therapist determines that there is a complication, problem, or knot in the reason for choosing a spouse.
In general, however, the process of premarital counseling sessions begins with an introduction or diagnosis. Work is then done to identify the parties and, depending on the treatment approach, they are given tasks. With the help of these assignments, the consultant can reach conclusions on various issues. Sometimes couples need to be tested, which also depends entirely on the opinion of the counselor and therapist. It is necessary to take a test from some couples and not from some.
6. If knowing the other person is enough, is premarital counseling enough individually?
Individual premarital counseling is not usually recommended. Of course, a person who has reached a general conclusion about the decision to marry can refer to the counselor alone and answer the questions and ambiguities that he may have by describing the characteristics of the couple in question.
But in order to reach a final conclusion, one to several pair sessions are needed. Of course, the counselor’s therapeutic approach to answering this question also applies, and decisions about splitting sessions and other issues may vary depending on the approach.
7. Given the potential role of parents in some disputes, is there a need for parents to be present? How can this be resolved without their presence?
For couples under the age of 25 who are about to get married, a counseling session with the parents of both parties is necessary.
In the case of older people who already have previous acquaintances, the presence of parents is not necessary; Unless the parties are challenged in dealing with the parents and have a problem with this. In this case, and if necessary, the parents of one party can be called to the counseling session without the presence of the other and talk to them about the necessary points.
Experience shows that the role of parents is more flexible on traditions, customs and family relationships; Usually a counseling session with the parents will be enough to resolve any issues or ambiguities, if the problem is in these areas. If this is not the case and more complex disorders and issues are involved, repeated meetings with parents will be needed to address these issues and under specific circumstances.
8. Can the sexual satisfaction of the parties to each other be assessed in these meetings? How?
Yes, there are special questionnaires in this regard that are given to couples and with their help the counselor can determine the sexual satisfaction of the parties to each other.
Of course, if they already know each other, the counselor may want to talk to them about one or more sessions on this particular topic, depending on their discretion.
9. If the psychologist’s diagnosis is that the parties are not suitable either, is this the end of the matter and should the parties separate despite their love for each other?
The counselor or psychologist only has the task of examining their differences and similarities with couples and, in some way, playing the role of a beacon. The consultant is usually unable to give a definitive answer to the parties and assume that they do not benefit each other in any way or make other similar comments.
Decisions in this regard are the responsibility of the couple and the counselor and psychologist can only help them in making decisions and resolve their ambiguities.
10. How many sessions of premarital counseling?
Depending on the specific circumstances of each couple and the issues raised, the number of premarital counseling sessions will be between 6 and 12 sessions.
۱۱. Is online counseling as effective as face-to-face counseling?
It is the choice of the couples themselves that determines the presence or absence of counseling sessions. Of course, face-to-face meetings are preferable to face-to-face meetings to observe couples’ appearance and proportionality.
If the couple is far away or has a disability to attend in-person meetings, the first meeting can be held by video call and other meetings by telephone.
in the end
Marriage has a very important effect on people’s lives and is perhaps the most important issue that everyone makes in their lives. Wrong decisions in this regard can have long-term consequences for human life. Given this sensitivity, getting help from others to reach a final decision and conclusion about your partner is a great and sensible idea. Premarital counseling is one of the best solutions that couples have available for this purpose and they can use the experience and knowledge of counseling experts to make their decision.
The counselor, as a third party and completely neutral, will help couples to better understand and understand each other and will provide a space for them to be able to honestly express everything in their hearts and minds, and with the help of the counselor, Resolve any ambiguities and problems.
Have you had the experience of attending premarital counseling sessions? How satisfied was the result of your work and how much did it make you better understand your partner?
If you wish, you can share your experiences and opinions with us and your audience in the “Post a Comment” section. Your experiences can be useful and instructive for couples who are planning to get married.