Anxiety, low self-esteem, procrastination, having a mountain of unfinished business and to-do lists, mental rumination, and the need for approval are just some of the harms of perfectionism. Even if you see one of these disadvantages in yourself, you should put the conflict with perfectionism on your list of possibilities. In this book introduction, we introduce some books about perfectionism. These books raise our awareness of this issue and provide the basis for confronting and curing perfectionism. Stay with us.
There are two general steps to overcoming perfectionism (and of course any other harm):
- first stage Self-awareness is the question of how perfectionism arises, grows, and suffers;
- second stage Familiarity with coping strategies can be different for each person depending on the type of behavior.
The books that we introduce in the following, based on these two steps and with different approaches, try to guide the audience in order to get rid of perfectionism. Perfectionism manifests itself in many different ways, and each person’s experience may be different. In the list of books that we introduce, we have tried to select books with different views on perfectionism.
1. The gift of perfection
Translator: Akram Akrami (suggested by users)
Publishers: Saberin (suggested by users)
number of pages: 165
The feeling of inadequacy is perhaps the most painful feeling that perfectionists have. It can be said that the tendency to perfectionism actually arises from the feeling of imperfection and dissatisfaction with who we are. For this reason, Ms. Bernie Brown has written the book The Gift of Incompleteness, focusing on the feeling of inadequacy. He believes that real self-acceptance is the most important weapon to combat this destructive feeling. The author’s suggestion to get rid of the feeling of inadequacy is to live with the whole being.
At the very beginning of this book on perfectionism, he offers a definition of this solution: “But none of this changes the fact that I am also brave and worth experiencing love and a sense of belonging.”
The book goes on to describe the barriers that prevent us from experiencing life with all our being, and finally, 10 ways to cultivate originality, compassion, resilience, joy and gratitude, intuition and faith, creativity, rest, relaxation, meaningful work, and finally Offers liberation from self-control. The simple language and breadth of the subjects while avoiding repetition and exaggeration are the features of the book of incompleteness. Reading this book is very useful and definitely worth reading once.
Accepting our life story can be difficult; But no more difficult than trying to escape. Accepting weaknesses and vulnerabilities is risky; But no more harmful than giving up love, belonging and happiness.
2. How not to be perfectionist
Translator: Narges Mohammadi (User Suggestion)
Publishers: Shamshad (user suggestion)
number of pages: 244
Stephen Guys is best known for his famous book, Habits. After this book, which was widely seen and read, he wrote the book that we now want to introduce, “How not to be perfectionist.” In this book, Overcoming Perfectionism, he specifically considers perfectionism, although his previous book is also useful to perfectionists.
The author, who himself has been involved in perfectionism for a long time, first talks about his experiences and then gives a complete description of perfectionism as well as the inner events that take place in human beings. In the final part of the book, which he says is the most important part of the book, he offers ways to get rid of perfectionism.
Two features that distinguish this book from similar examples are the definition and explanation of perfectionism from a different perspective in simple language, and the author’s operational strategies for treating perfectionism. The author owes these two distinctions to his personal experience of perfectionism and the comprehensive study he has previously had on the subject.
Normalism is freedom, because it is our natural state; As we were born. Perfectionism is an artificial construct that limits, constructs, and transforms behavior into an irrational standard.
3. The art of living in the moment
Translator: Masoumeh Mahmoudi, Arezoo Momivand (User Suggestion)
Publishers: Milkan (suggested by users)
number of pages: 198
We have said before that anxiety, the need to be approved and dissatisfied with ourselves and the moment in which we live are among the effects of perfectionism. Living in a world full of information and worries today is also a reason to feel more worried and enjoy less. In this book, Shana Nicoust tells us about this perfectionist aspect of anxiety. If you, too, suffer from anxiety and perfectionism, reading this book will give you a sense of relief despite the author’s sense of empathy. Also, the solutions he offers during the narration of his story help to get rid of perfectionism and the anxiety caused by it.
In this book on perfectionism, the author takes a special look at the need for approval by others and examines this sense of need and its harms from different aspects. He shows what the need for approval requires us to do and, ultimately, the consequences. In this regard, he gives valuable information to the audience by further explaining the issue.
“We live in a society that, if left unchecked, could easily get us into a circle,” said Dr. Henry Claude, a New York Times bestselling author. It fills our lives with things we never really wanted. “Shana helps us take a step back and rebuild our minds and souls.”
Being an influential person is much easier for others than being kind in real life. It is much easier to stand out from the crowd for an hour than to sit on the floor with your children when you are so tired.
4. Perfect; Treatment of perfectionism with a conscious attention approach
Translator: Shahram Amiri, Samad Khorramnia, Mehrdad Bahari, Mohsen Mohammadpour (Suggested by users)
Publishers: Avaye Noor (suggested by users)
number of pages: 216
We must have seen people around us who have a certain vitality and happiness. For them, life seems to belong to this moment. They are neither immersed in the past nor afraid of the future. For others, however, this kind of living is impossible. For this reason, they need to learn the skill of living in the present. Perfectionists fall into this second category, and the skill of living in the present undoubtedly acts as a cure for them.
Paul Samow has written this book on perfectionism in 15 chapters, the first of which deals with the definition, classification of perfectionism and why it exists. In later chapters he explains everything that has a trace of perfectionism.
Dr. Ronald Alexander, Author of the book «“The wise mind, the simple mind,” says of this book:Rarely a work of art like a book Perfect now Can be found. This book alleviates the existential pain caused by our need for perfection. Perfect now It contains many tools and ideas that equip the reader to overcome his feelings of guilt, shame, and perfectionism. When you accept your perfectionism and surrender to it, then the surprising contradiction of attentionConsciousness will be manifested as a healing force.»
Everything is perfect at any time. Perfection, as I define it, is not just a categoryIt is findable, but it is inevitable.
5. A guide to overcoming procrastination, worry and perfectionism
Translator: Dr. Banafsheh Farzinorad, Farzad Davoodi (User Suggestions)
Publishers: Dear (user suggestion)
number of pages: 176
Postponing tasks and leaving them unfinished is a familiar experience for everyone. Where is its root? For many of us, this behavior is due to perfectionism; A feeling that prevents things from starting and even finishing. In this book, we are going to learn about behavior that is the result of perfectionism.
It is natural that in order to eliminate procrastination, we must first examine and eliminate its root (which is perfectionism). The authors of this book believe that procrastination is a habit and fortunately habits can be changed. With this view, the book offers solutions to overcome perfectionism and then procrastination.
Fear of failure, dissatisfaction with success, and perfectionism all lead to anxiety and ultimately procrastination. When you are anxious, instead of solving problems, you try to avoid it. Procrastination is a habit and you can change it. You can develop the skills to do and finish your work and also enjoy your life.
Books on perfectionism that have not been translated into Persian
; Too Perfect by Jeannette Dewyze and Allan Mallinger –
; Perfecting Ourselves to Death by Richard Winter –
.When Perfect Isn’t Good Enough by Martin Antony and Richard Swinson –
As mentioned earlier, people’s experience of perfectionism can be different. In this introduction, we have tried to point out some of the important harms of perfectionism and introduce related books. now it’s your turn. Tell us about the experience of perfectionism, yourself or those around you? What books have you read in this field?