“Be quiet and selective because the door is full / until the world is full of little” You must have heard this bit and maybe you are one of those people who prefer to talk less and listen more. But how can we talk less? Listening helps you to learn more and get to know those around you better and teaches you how to convey your meaning correctly with short and useful sentences. In the following, we will introduce three practical strategies for the prevention and treatment of talkativeness. be with us.
Solution 1: Keep your word as short as possible
Only speak when necessary
Every word has a place when and every point. Before you start talking, ask yourself if you really need to say something. If what you are trying to say has nothing to do with the discussion, it is better to avoid saying it. People are attracted to the words of someone who chooses his words and sentences carefully. Those who are constantly commenting and telling stories are losing their popularity over time. Most of the talk is usually irrelevant and unnecessary.
You do not need to talk too much in a chamber to be empty
Sometimes the only reason people talk is to break the silence. These people start speaking to break the silence in scientific and professional communities such as the workplace or school. But we must know that sometimes silence is not so bad and there is no need to break this silence. For example, when you and your co-worker are relaxing in a room, you do not need to break the silence by starting an unnecessary conversation. Your coworker may need to be quiet and restless. In such cases, it will be more polite to smile friendly and keep quiet.
Pay attention to the words you choose
When you talk a lot and constantly, you say whatever comes to your mind. To learn to talk less, you must learn to think before you speak. Before you speak, think a little about what you want to say and lighten your speech. This method will make you stop saying some things and talk less.
People who talk a lot are more likely to inadvertently reveal a lot of confidential information and private professions. Be sure to pause for a moment before saying such things. Do not forget that the water does not return to the atmosphere. You always have time to share more information about an issue with others, but when you say a secret word in public, it is no longer a private word and you will not do anything to compensate.
Take time to talk
When you pay attention to time, you will talk less. Usually after 20 seconds your audience is more likely to lose focus. As a result, when you speak for 20 seconds, pay attention to whether the audience is eager to hear what you have to say. Pay attention to their body language. Restlessness, constantly checking your cell phone and looking at the wall indicate that your audience is tired. So it is better to shorten and finish the letter as soon as possible. In general, it is better not to talk continuously for more than 40 seconds, because it will make the audience tired and not pay attention to the continuation of your conversation.
Do not talk too much to relieve stress
Sometimes we talk only to relieve anxiety. So whenever you feel like talking too much to reduce your stress, it is better to use more appropriate methods to help you overcome your stress. In talkative situations, it is better to evaluate your silence and feelings for a few moments. Are you stressed? If you are stressed, count to ten or take a deep breath. If you are going to give a public speech, it is better to prepare the text of your speech and practice it a few days in advance to reduce stress. Of course, a little stress before the speech is not strange at all and is normal. If you always feel stressed about being in a group, see a psychiatrist to solve the problem.
Do not talk too much to get the attention and satisfaction of others
This happens more often in different work situations and people talk to attract attention and influence others. It is better not to show arrogance to attract attention and, so to speak, insider.
Know that for the listener, it is more interesting to speak briefly and usefully than to talk nonsense. Instead of talking too much about yourself, say things that are really worth saying.
Solution 2: Listen more
Focus on someone who is talking
Never check your phone or look around during a conversation. Do not think about what to eat for dinner or where to go after work. Focus all your attention on the other person. In this way, you listen better and focus on what is being said. Look into the speaker’s eyes and if you sometimes lose your focus, try to go back in time and keep listening.
Make eye contact
Eye contact is a sign of your attention. Look into someone’s eyes when they are talking to you. This means your presence and attention. Cutting off eye contact may be rude and mean indifference. When talking, put your mobile phone in your bag or pocket so that you do not have to look at the phone from time to time and distract yourself from what is being said. If your audience stops making eye contact with you while you are talking, it is most likely a sign that they are tired or that you have become talkative. In such cases, it is better to pause for a moment or give the other person a chance to talk.
Think about what the other person has to say
Try to learn to listen actively. When someone is talking, you have to listen to them. Do not judge the other person while listening. Even if you disagree with what is being said, wait for your turn to speak. When someone else is talking, focus on what they are saying instead of thinking about what to say. To focus better, you can imagine what the other person is saying. You can also memorize his professional keywords and phrases.
Refer to what the other person has to say during the conversation
In every conversation, it is your turn to speak. Before you speak, show that you have listened to what is being said. Repeat and question what you have heard in your own words. You do not have to repeat the words of the other party word for word. Just express your understanding of what he said. Active listening pays full attention to what the other person is saying and shows that you are listening. Of course, active listening does not mean constantly interrupting the speaker or a way to express yourself.
Use phrases like “So you say you’re worried about the company ‘s celebration next week.” After such phrases, you can ask the speaker. As an example, continue the previous sentence with the question, “What do you think is the cause of this concern?” “If you want, we can talk more about it.” When talking, try to show empathy for the other person and do not judge him.
Solution 3: Do not go astray in following the rules of etiquette
Be sure to express your opinions when necessary
Observance of rhetoric does not mean that you do not defend yourself or express your intentions when necessary. If you have a serious issue in your mind or an opinion that you feel is very important, speak up. Exaggeration is not as true as exaggeration in any other work. So do not deprive those around you of hearing your important and perhaps vital opinions under the pretext of being rude. Knowing when you need to talk is one of the basic principles of proficiency. For example, when you have a serious problem in your personal life, it is better to share the problem with your trusted friends and relatives for help. Or if you have an opinion in the field of work that can have a positive impact on the work process, be sure to express your opinion in front of managers and colleagues.
Do not overdo eye contact
As mentioned, eye contact is very important. But constant eye contact will not be very pleasant for the other party. The purpose of eye contact is to build trust and attention, but if you insist too much on eye contact, you will get the opposite result and you will lose the trust of the other party. It is best to change the direction of your gaze after every 7 to 10 seconds of eye contact.
Extreme eye contact in some cultures, especially in Asian cultures, means disrespect. So when dealing with people from different cultures, it is best to be aware of their principles and etiquette, including eye contact.
Put aside prejudice when listening to others
Every human being has his own unique opinion and belief. Each person’s definition of right and wrong may be different. When you listen to what someone else has to say, you may hear things that are not very acceptable to you. But it is better to delay judging others. If you hold your wrist when judging the other person, stop judging and focus on what he is saying. Postpone the analysis of what you have heard. When listening, just pay attention to what the speaker is saying and do not judge him.