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How to say no to others after accepting their request and take back our word

Study guide




Sometimes you take on too much responsibility, you have a problem, or for some other reason you can not or do not want to do something. In this case, you should politely and respectfully tell the other party that you can not fulfill your commitment. This way, your reputation and reputation will not be damaged and you will maintain your relationship. In this article, we will state 6 points to say no after accepting the request of others.

Let’s start with an example

Imagine a co-worker asking you if you can chair a new association they are launching. You also say without thinking immediately: “Sure. it is an honor for me.” But when you think about the consequences of this, you see emails piled up in the inbox and lots of appointments whose dates are marked on the calendar. Suddenly you realize that you have to put a lot of pressure on yourself to accept the presidency of this association. You know that despite accepting your co-worker’s request, you should say no, but you are reluctant to step aside after promising your co-worker.

Saying no is not an easy task, and it becomes even more difficult after accepting the request of others. You may be worried that your withdrawal will ruin your friendship and that others may consider you an untrustworthy person or a weak member of the group. These fears are exacerbated in successful and hard-working people who care too much about the opinions of others and have difficulty setting boundaries.

Even if you can say no, it is difficult for you to bear the frustration or anger of the other party. This reaction is logical. Studies show that the brain does not distinguish between social exclusion and physical pain. Even if you stick to your commitment against your will, sometimes at the expense of your own health and comfort, the opposite is true. This puts a lot of stress on you and makes others feel that you are not fully aware of it, that you are under pressure or that you do not want to do it.

6 tips to say no after accepting others’ requests

By following the tips below, you can more easily reject the requests of others and at the same time maintain your relationship with them.

1. Consider the cost

Before telling the other person that you have given up, make sure the decision is the right one and consider the cost of the opportunity. For example, suppose you respond positively to the bosses’ offer to participate in the initiative, but now you have doubts about your decision. Evaluate how important this project is to your work priorities. For example, if this plan introduces you to other parts of the company or you can gain social capital or new skills, it is worth the sacrifice. But if the costs outweigh the benefits (for example, adversely affect your personal life or current projects), it is best to step aside.

۲. Change your perspective

If you think saying no after accepting the request of others makes you look irresponsible, think about the fact that accepting what you know you can not do is selfish and wrong. You may feel that accepting the request of others means that you are a generous and helpful person, but if you can not keep your promises, others will not consider you a useful and effective person and you will not achieve personal satisfaction or strong relationships. Think of the positive traits you will show others by polite and respectful nods, such as caring about task prioritization, managing time, and communicating clearly and honestly with others, all of which are effective leadership traits.

3. Politician but be honest

When you want to say no to the other person, be assertive and do not over-explain. That is, try to be straightforward, considerate, and most importantly honest. For example, if you want to leave your friend association, say: “Last month, when I said I could join the association, I really believed I had enough ability to serve as president of the association. But when I took a closer look at my calendar, I realized that I had accepted a lot of work and that I had some other work commitments that I could not put off. “So I can not be the president of this association.”

Providing a brief explanation or justification for not accepting the request of others will make our cancellation better accepted. For example, you could say: “I know we talked about accepting the presidency of the association, but when I accepted your offer, I did not expect a big project in the company to be assigned to me. “That’s why I have to turn down your offer.” You can also say about the resignation of the bosses’ initiative: “When I checked my priorities, I realized that this project prevents me from fulfilling my main responsibilities very well. Participating in this project is not the best decision for me or the group. “So I have to respectfully abandon this project.”

4. Maintain a relationship

You must apologize and take responsibility for any mistakes or misunderstandings or merely accepting that you have been unable to do so. However, the other party hopes for your help and may have planned for your participation. In the example of withdrawing from the association, you can say: “I apologize for the inconvenience this has caused. It’s very valuable to me that you offered me the presidency of the association. I hope your association is successful. “I look forward to hearing from the association.” Giving thanks and finishing your speech in a positive tone shows your attention and love.

5. Suggest an alternative

If you really want to help the other person, suggest another schedule or set another date. Postpone accepting his offer and to keep the opportunity for accepting his request in the future, say: “After reviewing my plan, I have to change my mind and now I can not accept the invitation. But for the future, please consider me as well. “How many more months can you call me?”

You can also suggest another way to not confuse the other party. For example, introduce him to a co-worker who can help him or suggest a contractor who can do the work he wants. Sometimes you can direct her to a resource, such as an association, podcast, or tutorial, that can meet her needs or solve her problem.

6. Learn from this experience

Breaking down from work commitments is not fun or easy, but it can be a rewarding lesson in giving up trying to keep others happy forever, a behavior that hinders your growth and success. This experience teaches you to act wisely in the future to accept or reject the requests and suggestions of others. Only respond positively to suggestions that are useful to you and that you have the ability to do.

Concluding remarks

No matter how careful you are at accepting others’ requests, sometimes you will have to reconsider your decision and promise. Do not say no to other people’s requests wisely and carefully to get the best possible result.

You have most likely encountered such situations in your personal and professional life. We are happy for you to share your valuable experiences and suggestions with us in the “Submit a Comment” section.

Source

hbr

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How to say no to others after accepting their request and take back our word

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