The quarantine of daily life for days, weeks, and months has profoundly affected our emotional and social relationships; Increasing the time we spend together, the feeling that we can not escape, and the subconscious fear of the unknown increase the likelihood of nervousness, turmoil, and heated arguments. In this article, we want to see how we can reduce the stress of married life during quarantine. Stay with us.
Many people have been quarantined and housed for some time. Some of them have turned to telecommuting and many others have been forced to close their businesses altogether. In addition, staying at home for long periods of time, even when financial problems are pressing on them, can greatly increase marital conflicts. What complicates this situation is that humans naturally need different levels of independence and closeness. When we put all this together, we will see that everything is ready to escalate the debate. The good news is that the human brain has the unique ability to react powerfully to unknown dangers. First of all, we must understand that these tensions are inevitable. This understanding helps us to take more conscious steps to reduce the stress of quarantine.
To help you get through quarantine with your spouse more easily, consider the following tips:
1. Make some house rules lighter
“Talk to you first about how to divide your space,” says Dr. Stephanie Newman, a clinical psychologist. For example, the housewife wants to check her messages while eating her coffee alone. Let him enjoy this time. If Mr. House wants to schedule mid-day video calls, work with him. “Everyone has to give up some of their rights in order to get a right in return.”
Schedule your daylight hours. Set aside time to use the kitchen, work or be alone, and spend time together. Having a tighter schedule during this difficult time will help you and your spouse to relax and be less nervous. It also makes you more productive when telecommuting.
۲. Be a little more patient
For the reasons mentioned above, stress is greater these days than usual. Patience becomes extremely difficult and therefore more important. Dr. Zlatin Ivanov, a psychologist in New York, recommends: “When arguing, use phrases such as ‘I agree with you’, ‘I understand’, ‘I understand the point’, ‘We can do this together’. “Let ‘s” or “I respect your privacy, you respect me alone.”
In addition, give each other the opportunity to have a calm mind and nerves. Dr. Ivanov adds: “We are social beings; “But when we get nervous and tired, sometimes we need to be alone for a while.”
3. Avoid common communication traps
Turbidity is normal; But when people are confined to a small space and have nowhere to go, turbidity can easily turn into a scuffle. In some cases, the argument may be due to lethargy and boredom. Avoid the usual communication traps when arguing. Communication pitfalls include: raising your voice, constantly whining instead of suggesting a solution, common generalizations (always, never), tagging, and listening.
When in doubt, turn to empathy. “Empathy means putting yourself in the shoes of others and trying to look at things from their perspective,” says Dr. Newman. “Expanding experiences to understand the ideas and thoughts of the spouse creates a free discussion and brings the spouses closer together.”
4. Try to be quieter overall
Respecting the space of others means taking care of their eardrums as well! This is especially important during quarantine; Because 24 hours a day, maybe in a small place, we are alone and close to each other, and each of us is busy with our work.
“Understand that your spouse may not want to be involved in your activities at that moment,” says Dr. Ivanov. Respect his decision. Try to do things quietly; “Like reading books, making crafts, playing video games or listening to music with headphones.”
5. Strive to cultivate positive thinking
Despite the bad news and the uncertain future, you can easily get frustrated and upset. This discomfort increases the need for positive thinking in your home. “A few simple words, a few gestures, and a few behaviors are effective in minimizing turbidity (and improving mood at home),” says Hill-Rose, a social affairs expert. “Try to recall happy times when your spouse was kind to you, and thus find a more positive outlook on the relationship.”
6. Help with household chores
Even when you spend time at home, household chores can pile up. Sometimes you will even have to do extra work, such as preparing food, washing dishes, taking out the trash, and basic dusting. Housework is often the subject of debate, whether during quarantine or on ordinary days; But spending more time in clutter can make a fight worse.
“Taking responsibility for household chores will reduce your spouse’s stress a little, and this will reduce stress and improve the relationship,” says Dr. Ivanov. “So be active and do not wait for your spouse to assign you a task.”
7. Spend certain time together
In addition to identifying times to be alone, it is important to set aside time to be together. This can be a few hours at the end or in the middle of the day for lunch. “Spending time together as a spouse, friend or family member can help you have a more realistic perspective during this stressful time,” says Hill-Rose.
The last word
It is natural to experience more stress and anxiety these days, and this situation is likely to affect your relationship with your spouse as well. To solve such problems, consciously help each other and develop your relationship. The recommendations in this article are a good place to start. Remember that in any case, you should take care of your physical and mental health and that of your spouse.
If you have an experience or suggestion to spend these days more easily with your spouse, we would be happy to share it with us and the readers.