Most couples consider having a shared bed and sleeping together as a sign of intimacy and empathy, but some research suggests the benefits of sleeping in separate beds. Couples who sleep in the same bed are more likely to have nightmares caused by their spouse. Causes of these discomforts include snoring, poor hygiene, excessive shaking, or different sleep patterns. All of these can lead to health problems, sexual dysfunction and marital problems. Read on to find out what role sleeping spouses play in their lasting marriage.
Quality sleep and its effect on married life
According to a 2016 study at Paracelsus Medical University in Nuremberg, Germany, marital problems and sleep disorders often occur at the same time. Another study conducted at the University of California, Berkeley in 2013, found that couples’ nighttime insomnia caused by unintentional harassment of their spouses may lead to arguments and problems in their relationship the next day.
There are benefits to couples sleeping together, but sleep problems or annoying bad habits in one couple can affect the other and increase the secretion of stress hormone (cortisol). This has a negative effect on the whole relationship of couples.
Adequate relaxation and rest can help you manage your life with more focus and control, resulting in more satisfaction and happiness.
When both parties have a good night’s sleep, they will be emotionally, mentally and physically healthier than when their spouse disturbs their sleep. If a couple disturbs his wife’s sleep, her guilt will bother her.
Sleeping separately couple; The dream of many wives
Sleeping apart has become a dream of many couples. According to a 2012 survey by the Better Sleep Council, one in four couples sleeps apart to sleep better. According to another poll, 46 percent of 2,000 Americans surveyed said they would like to sleep apart from their spouse.
“Some couples believe that sleeping apart from their spouse has strengthened their relationship,” says Ken Page, a New York-based psychotherapist. He continues: “I have worked with many couples whose comfortable sleep has helped to increase their comfort and has made them more grateful for the positive aspects of their relationship and the past resentments have been removed from their hearts.”
Of course, couples have their own reasons for sleeping apart.
“My wife and I had to sleep apart because of living conditions,” says Jill Goebbl, 52. Because his snoring had gotten worse, and I had a harder time falling asleep at night. We finally agreed that I would sleep in a separate room some nights a week. “However, we still have a shared bed.”
Couples who have a stronger and more secure relationship are more likely to cope with the offer to sleep apart at night. Happy couples who have lived together for a long time and have well-developed communication skills can more easily manage and enjoy the benefits of sleeping apart at night.
The role of gender on the desire of couples to sleep separately
Gender also affects people’s desire to sleep separately. Women usually suggest sleeping separately; Because women are more sensitive to their husbands’ bad habits, pregnancy, hormonal changes and related problems make them want to sleep separately.
According to a 2007 study, women are more likely than men to have trouble sleeping in the presence of their husbands in bed.
“My husband and I have been married for 18 years and have two children,” said a 41-year-old Australian woman. When I was pregnant with my first child, we decided to sleep apart. I was shaking a lot and not getting enough sleep. So sometimes I slept in a separate room. When I got pregnant for the second time, one of us always slept in a separate room so we could both get enough sleep. My husband’s snoring when he was very tired would not let me sleep and I had to wake him up to stop it. This initially upset him; “But eventually everything became normal between us.”
Contrasting sleeping habits and the desire to sleep separately
Spouses sleeping separately can be done with the following strategies: using beds of equal size next to each other; Having a larger bed and a smaller bed in the room; Set aside nights to sleep apart. Sleeping in separate rooms is another option.
Tina and Donald are another example of this couple. Tina is 45 years old and Donald is 63 years old. Tina cares about her privacy. Tina and Donald, like many couples who like to sleep apart, have opposite sleeping habits.
“I like to stay up at night, while Donald likes to go to bed early,” says Tina. I need a soothing sound to fall asleep, while Donald falls asleep in silence; Donald likes hard mattresses, but I need a soft mattress and several pillows for a good night’s sleep; “Because I do not like the light of morning, I sleep in a room that is darker, and Donald sleeps in a room that sees the light of the sun as he pleases.”
Be reasonable and honest with your spouse
It is important to be reasonable and honest with your spouse about why you want to sleep apart. Equally important is to maintain your intimacy in the relationship. Setting times to increase communication, such as having breakfast together every morning, having a drink together at bedtime, or greeting each other as you enter the room, are also good ways to maintain intimacy and interest in the relationship.
“My wife and I spend a lot of time together: we go to each other’s room and we spend a lot of time in the kitchen,” says Tina. “The third room of our house is also our office, each of which has its own desk.”
Healthy spouses who sleep separately can be as happy and healthy as couples sleeping together. These couples can also have a good sex life. These couples may even feel very close to their partner; Because they respect each other’s privacy. It is even possible for couples to stay away from each other overnight.
Choosing the best way for couples to sleep separately
Philip Shan is the CEO of a mattress company. He has helped many people choose the right mattress and solve their sleep problem. “Overall, the most important factor in spouses sleeping apart is not their reluctance,” says Shen. Rather, their current sleeping environment makes it difficult for them to enjoy quality sleep at night. For couples who are not ready to sleep apart, choosing the middle ground is the best option. “For example, couples can choose an adjustable mattress or solve their sleep problem by staying close by choosing two separate mattresses.”
He also believes: “It is not appropriate to argue about this problem when you are upset with your spouse Khorupov; “Rather, you should talk about this problem when you are calm and there is a good relationship between you and your spouse.”