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How do we stop comparing ourselves to others? 5 effective solutions

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Who do you compare yourself to the most? If you do not know the answer to this question, think about the last time you searched on social media. Ask yourself which photos made you jealous and think that your life is monotonous and boring or that you have not been able to achieve the success you wanted in life? Comparing oneself with others is as old as human beings, and man has started comparing himself to others since he knew himself. In this article we want to see how we can stop comparing ourselves to others. Stay with us.

Why is it often bad to compare yourself to others?

“They look very happy. I bet they never fight. Why my life is not like theirs مطم »Surely all of us, when we see photos of friends and colleagues and even strangers on social media pages, say these words to ourselves and wish we could be in their place even for a moment. We spend hours looking through their photos and thinking about the decisions that have brought us to our current situation. Sometimes we even think it is our fault that their lives seem so “great” and our lives “bad”.

Psychologists call this condition a social comparison. There is no doubt that the advent of social media has made this trap much bigger and more difficult to break. Depending on how many people you interact with on social media and how often they post their photos, you are faced with a world of smiling faces and moments every day that are deliberately designed to be happy and positive and productive. Show people; But in fact, those moments are chosen to hide the confusion and distress of people’s daily lives.

Simply put, those moments may be real, but they do not indicate what is really happening in one’s life at that moment. The feeling of pressure you experience from comparing the lives of others to yourself can severely disrupt your life and be emotionally, physically and emotionally destructive. Some research shows that comparing yourself to someone you think has a better and more successful life will help you find more people who are happier and more successful than you. In fact, the mental imagery of comparing yourself to others causes you to constantly realize your own weaknesses and flaws.

Five effective ways to get rid of comparing yourself to others

If you stop comparing yourself to others, you will be more satisfied with your life; But how can we stop comparing ourselves to others while facing happy and smiling images on social media? Here are five steps you can take to begin the process of preparation for mediation.

1. Change the external focus to the internal focus

Turning your gaze from the outside in is not easy, but it is worth a try. You need to stop comparing yourself to others, because only you can give yourself credit. It may seem trivial, but it is very effective.

If you have not yet tried this idea or are afraid to imagine interacting with yourself, it will certainly be very difficult to implement this idea in your life. The best way to start is to be alone with meditation or any other method you know. Then move on to the question, “What are the externalities that have willingly or unwillingly allowed me to be guided?” Think about situations that have caused you to compare yourself to someone else. Have you spent most of your time browsing social media pages comparing yourself? Is there a particular person who is constantly defining himself or herself and his or her life, or asking you questions that make you feel inferior? Or maybe doing some things like going shopping and going to affluent neighborhoods that make you unhappy with your life.

Think about these issues or write about them. Then visualize what would happen if external forces, ideas, or thoughts did not affect you. When you are doing this, every time you feel you are under the influence of external forces again, go back to the first place and start from the beginning.

2. Limit the use of social media

When you constantly look outside to validate yourself and your life, you easily fall into the trap of social comparison. If you want to compare yourself less with others, limit the time you use social media. The images you see there are often carefully designed to capture flawless moments in the turbulent lives of others; But believe me, these photos have nothing to do with the real lives of these people. Even research has shown that couples who constantly post photos of happy moments actually face many problems and do not have a successful married life.

3. Find a solid source of inspiration

It does not matter if one or two people are the source of inspiration in your life. This can provide some external guidance in your life. These people do not have to be celebrities, but they may be the source of inspiration for a yoga instructor, a good friend, a co-worker, or someone who is following in your footsteps. You can be inspired by these people when you feel frustrated or have lost your way and may fall back into comparison.

4. Be thankful that you do not fall into the trap of comparison

Comparing yourself to others is fundamentally wrong

If you commit to being deeply happy with the good things in your life and reminding yourself of them every day, you are less likely to fall into the trap of comparison. Whenever someone or something wants to compare you again, remind yourself of those good things right away.

In addition, seeing the success of others should not disrupt your world. Even if you think they are doing what you are doing, their efforts and successes belong to them. Stop comparing yourself to others, because what you experience is different from what they experience. In essence, you are comparing their appearance to the inside of your life, which is a wrong comparison.

Staying away from the path of others’ lives helps you save yourself from the feeling that you have to measure your progress against the progress of others. Create a sense of inner joy in yourself so that you can appreciate your progress. When you are happy for others, you can more easily be happy for yourself. When you accept the victories of others, even if they are small, you can see and accept your own victories.

5. Compare yourself to others as a motivator for progress

Man’s struggle to want what belongs to others is a waste of time; Unless what he sees in others and wants to be truly valuable. Who do you admire most? What kind of comparisons can really help you? For example, do you know people who are extremely kind and forgiving? Do you know people who really have a positive impact on the world with their goodness? Instead of wasting your time falling into the trap of pointless comparisons, try to be like them and be a better person in your life by comparing yourself to positive, inspiring people.

last word

Self-esteem and inner thinking are the best way to avoid falling into the trap of comparison; But doing so is not so simple. If you want to stop comparing yourself to others, you have a difficult path ahead; But once you are aware of this, you are on the right track.

When was the last time you felt happy or unlucky enough to see a photo on social media? After that, did you struggle for hours with negative thoughts or did you decide to correct yourself? In general, what is your reaction to the success of others and how do you deal with them? We look forward to reading your valuable comments.

Source

lifehack

psychologytoday

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How do we stop comparing ourselves to others? 5 effective solutions

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