You love her, but you are in a toxic emotional relationship. At night, instead of resting and sleeping, you fight with yourself in your mind. You have unanswered and annoying questions: Why does he not change his behavior ?! Why does he ignore my complaints !? Maybe you have done your best and now is the time to learn to give up.
Every emotional relationship consumes a large amount of our spiritual and emotional energy. So when a relationship breaks down or breaks down, it can lead to severe emotional pain. After each emotional breakdown, of course, a part of our being remains with the person we remember, and he or she becomes an integral part of our life experience; But we must learn to let go of falling into the well of despair and regret and move on with life.
A toxic emotional relationship has symptoms. After recognizing these symptoms, how do we get out of it so that we can see the least damage?
Here are some solutions:
1. Get help
People usually go back to their toxic relationships because this is the only relationship they know and may feel more comfortable returning to their broken self. People who are trapped in toxic relationships need the help of friends, family members, or counselors to stay committed to change. Getting out of a toxic relationship is a process and does not happen overnight. There is nothing wrong with asking for help sometimes for long periods of time.
In general, people who are in a toxic emotional relationship need a period of emotional recovery. This process is time consuming. Find someone you can trust to help you through this. Note that if you are in a relationship that is physically, verbally or sexually abused, end it immediately and seek help from others.
2. Express your feelings
One of the most important things you can do in a toxic emotional relationship is to express your feelings to your emotional partner. It does not matter who you are in a relationship with. Talking about negative emotions is often the subject of controversy. If your emotional partner is quick-tempered or overly emotional, it’s best to write your heart out. Even if he is mature enough and logical enough to talk to, writing before you get into the subject still helps. Expressing your feelings in the form of a text message gives the other person the opportunity to think about what you have to say and respond more thoughtfully.
Like other difficult conversations, it is important to be able to express your feelings without blaming the other person. For example, instead of the phrase “you make me…”, use phrases like “when you say this or do this من I…”.
After expressing your feelings, you need to decide whether the relationship is worth staying and trying. To understand this, think about the reactions of the other party. Was he defending himself? Or did he get angry and blame you? Or maybe he was trying to justify himself or ignore your words ?! Each of these is a sign that you need to leave the relationship.
But if he apologizes and accepts your claims that there is a serious problem in the relationship, then we can hope to correct the relationship. With the help of a psychotherapist or trying to better understand and correct toxic behaviors, steps can be taken to revitalize the relationship. However, you do not have to wait long for correction. Sometimes the fear of being left alone gives you false hope. Maybe he will repeat his poisonous behaviors again and apologize every time. However, the important thing is that you do not allow him to repeat toxic behaviors and deceive you into a game.
4. Positiveize the space around you
Now that you have made your decision (whether to leave the relationship or try to fix it), it is important to take care of yourself. Going through this course puts a lot of stress on you; So you should do your best to fill your mind with positive emotions. Spend time with friends. Go on a trip. Worship and in short, do whatever makes you feel good.
5. Stick to your decision
Usually after leaving someone, we miss him. This is a normal reaction. Our brains tend to remember his good memories and forget the bad. Nostalgia leads to the temptation to seek her out again and get back into the relationship; But whenever this temptation strikes you, remind yourself that you made that decision with much deliberation and purpose, and that it was: to make your life better.
Yes, it is true that such a decision is painful and has caused you a lot of suffering, but you should also remind yourself that suffering does not always last. Do not store it inside. Maybe crying can make you lighter.
If in doubt, ask your friends, family, or counselor to scare you and hold you accountable. Take a look at the reasons for leaving the relationship. Realize that you are worth more than just being in a toxic emotional relationship. Be strong and do not back down from your decision.
The world does not end by leaving a toxic emotional relationship. Your decision will not only make your situation worse, but ultimately benefit the health of your body and soul. You still have many opportunities to experience new relationships or discover yourself. You have to come to the conclusion that loving yourself is the most important element of your life and you should not destroy it for the sake of anyone.