Have you ever felt that you were in the wrong emotional relationship and that this relationship, instead of elevating you, added to the problems in your life? How do we know we are in the wrong relationship? In this article, you will read about the warning signs of a wrong relationship and what you need to do to correct this situation.
Having a healthy relationship with someone who is close to you in every way plays an important role in your success. You need to know that initial attraction is not enough to have a lasting relationship. If you choose the right person to build a relationship with and to strengthen and care for it, you will not experience emotions such as tension, boredom, frustration, fear and anger.
The two parties that are partners in the relationship determine what that relationship should be like. The wrong behavior of these people causes unpleasant feelings, some of which we have mentioned. If you look at some of the feelings in your relationship, you will soon realize that the relationship was wrong. You may have experienced these feelings in some of your past relationships; But even if you could get out of that wrong relationship, keep going. Do not feel sorry for the relationships you had in the past and do not worry about your current relationships.
In this article, we have tried to help you find a deeper insight into this issue by reviewing the mistakes in relationships. By reading this article, you can have a better and clearer conversation with your partner and change your behavior in the right way.
Here are some signs that you will not experience good feelings in a relationship. It is better not to continue such relationships or at least not to continue in this way.
1. You are not yourself
Suddenly or gradually you realize that your personality traits have disappeared or you are hiding them. Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence in most relationships. The most important thing is that it is gradual, which makes it impossible for the person to stop the relationship.
In some relationships, your partner tries to control you and does so under the guise of love. Over time, you distance yourself from your personal characteristics and desires. The day will come when when you wake up and look in the mirror, you will no longer know yourself. This is a bad sign, and it’s so bad! Allow yourself to stop and keep in mind that not all of your partner is to blame. Maybe this is your role model in your relationship, in which case you are the main culprit.
It is easy to get lost in your relationship. A misunderstanding of the concept of love, which leads to misplaced self-sacrifice, is the main reason for this. Instead, divert your thinking to good things in life, such as a healthy, growing relationship. Of course, the root of this pattern of behavior in you usually goes back to the way you raised your family and the experiences you had of childhood love; But the important thing is to be more aware and try to find yourself again.
Do not worry about the result; It does not matter. If you do not apply this change, the relationship will not be modified; Only you, as the parent can know for sure.
In any relationship where one person plays the role of a parachute for another and the other accepts the role, both eventually fall.
Guy Fainley, philosopher and author of self-help books
2. You are constantly trying to prove your worth
That one is constantly trying to prove one’s worth is inherently bad; But if he behaves in this way in his relationships, there must be problems in this relationship. A person’s relationships should provide conditions in which he does not have to prove his worth.
Use the following signs to find out if you have this pattern of behavior in your relationship and are constantly looking to prove your worth:
- Your ideas are ignored;
- You feel you are not seen;
- You can rarely talk about yourself;
- Your partner may hear what you have to say, but he or she does not understand you.
Of course, it is not your partner’s job to make you feel valued. He only has the task of turning the relationship into a safe space in which, instead of ignoring and denying, the values of the parties are encouraged. Your relationship should not be in a way that you feel you are not seen, but you should feel successful in your relationship.
3. You feel like you are watching instead of being a member of the relationship
Many people in certain situations, instead of deciding what happens next, let life determine the next step, and this is wrong. You have to decide in every situation and do your job. You should not continue doing things in which you have no part.
There is also this misbehavior in relationships. You experience a relationship in which you have little role. In other words, you just feel comfortable that you are not single and alone, that’s it! You know important dates, you know when to buy a gift, you know what food your partner likes, you know your partner’s daily schedule; But not all of this matters as much as your involvement in the relationship. In fact, what keeps the relationship going is not interest, it’s everyday.
If your inner belief is that your partner is more involved in this than you are, consider this a great sign. Maybe it’s better not to continue this relationship.
4. You are not trying to have a relationship
According to research, relationships that go through a steady process, meaning that the parties to the relationship do not try to create exciting and enjoyable situations, eventually become boring. If you feel tired in your relationship, you will probably experience more unpleasant feelings in the future.
It does not matter if the reason for this behavior is you or your partner. Either way, you are experiencing the wrong relationship. If you can change the situation by talking, go ahead. Otherwise, it is best to end the relationship so that you do not experience further emotional damage.
5. You do not trust your partner
For some time now, you may have felt that your partner was not as honest as before, or that he or she was not an honest partner from the beginning. This feeling indicates that there are problems in this regard. Try to find the problem and find a solution with help. If these problems are not solved and uncertainty remains in the relationship, the relationship will result in nothing more than slander.
6. You think of alternative relationships
If you think you have found someone else suitable for a relationship that should take the place of your current partner, then you are not satisfied with the situation. In fact, you blame your relationship for some of the unfortunate events in your life and therefore seek to make a difference. Instead of trying to recover, they wallow in their sadness and thus, experience more failure. You need to be able to talk to your partner to determine the cause of this dissatisfaction.
Spend time with people who love you unconditionally, not with people who only love you under certain circumstances.
Susie Qasim, Egyptian-American writer
7. You are too different
The existence of differences in people is an undeniable fact. The inability to make fundamental changes also makes perfect sense. You will definitely have differences with each person you are in a relationship with: differences in thoughts, interests, behaviors and feelings. If these logical differences are so great as to cause conflict, they may complicate the relationship; For example, when the parties have completely different interests, one party’s interest is usually not taken into account; Or in cases where there are completely different thoughts, the more they know each other, the greater the distance between them.
8. You blame each other
When something unpleasant happens, each of you blames the other party for the situation. In this situation, you constantly blame each other. Experience has shown that in most cases, both parties to the relationship have made mistakes. What is lacking or absent in your relationship is a sense of responsibility. If either party accepts responsibility for its own wrong decision or behavior, the other party is encouraged to do the same.
9. You have different goals
You will probably talk about your future together at the beginning of the relationship, decide on your lifestyle and share financial responsibilities. You may also discuss having children and your career goals. If this situation has changed for you, that is, you no longer have common goals, it means that this relationship probably does not have a bright future.
10. You can not express your feelings
In the right relationship, you need to be able to express your feelings and emotions about different issues. You need to let your partner know everything about your feelings. Vulnerability in a relationship means the need for the other person to be aware of and care about how you feel. This creates intimacy on both sides of a relationship. If you feel that you are in a situation where you can not express your feelings, it is better to reconsider the continuation of your relationship. This inability means that you are not comfortable with the other party.
۱۱. You have no place in each other’s future
If your emotional partner has nowhere to go when thinking about the future and planning for life, it means that you do not value his or her presence in your life as much as you should. If you are not sure what role your partner will play in the future you envision for yourself, it means a job is missing.
۱۲. You are constantly arguing and feeling weak
It has long been said that fighting is the salt of life; But too much salt is not good! Not every argument is a sign of the end of a relationship; But if you are constantly arguing and in the end these arguments are fruitless and do not change anything, then your life is very salty! This is a serious problem that needs to be addressed. Constant quarrels affect your emotions, your level of interest in the other person, and your commitment, and ultimately, may lead to separation.
In relationships, the problem arises when one person focuses on looking for the other party’s shortcomings.
Wayne Dyer, American author
13. You feel lonely
If you still feel lonely while spending time with your partner, a relationship will fail. This feeling of loneliness means that you do not have a deep relationship with each other. You may not even enjoy being together. Spending time is very different from having fun. You may spend time together, but you will not have fun during this time. This is a sign of a wrong relationship that you should take seriously.
The last word
The wrong relationship affects different aspects of life. Because of this, the sooner you identify it and try to resolve it, the sooner you will save your emotions and the future of your life. Of course, not every dispute is a sign of a wrong relationship, but some signs are a warning message to think more and find a way to save the relationship or end that emotional relationship.
Are you satisfied with your emotional relationship? How alert are you to warning signs? If you have any experience recognizing these symptoms, resolving a problem, or ending a relationship, feel free to share it with us. Such experiences are beneficial to many.
Retrieved from: psychologytoday