Are you separated? Do you know couples who are divorced? Most of you may answer yes to one or both of these questions. According to the latest statistics, almost one third of Iranian couples are victims of divorce and separation. According to some, marriage and divorce are a matter of life and death. In this article, we want to see the strategies for having a successful married life. be with us.
According to the Times Magazine, couples who are “happy” or “relatively happy” in their married life are 20 percent less likely to die than couples who do not find their married life happy. To have a successful marriage and a strong relationship, both parties must seek both personal growth and maturity in the relationship.
Warren Buffett, the world’s third richest man, advised shareholders at the 2009 Berkshire Annual Meeting:
“Marry the right person. Take this advice seriously. That person will make a significant difference in your life. “It will affect your will and desire in any field.”
1. Use energetic and positive sentences in your speech
Dr. Guttman is a human relations specialist at the Guttman Institute. According to him, the number of positive sentences that happy couples say to each other and about each other in their conversations (especially in discussions about problems) is five times more than the number of negative sentences. “Good relationships have a positive and energetic atmosphere,” he says. He likens emotions to a bank account and advises couples to make regular deposits in an emotional bank account.
2. Stop blaming each other
In The Marriage Clinic, Guttman identifies blame-seeking as one of the four main causes of divorce (defensiveness, humiliation, and running away from dialogue are other causes of divorce). Of course, it should be noted that there is a difference between blaming and criticizing. Troubleshooting is destructive to cohabitation; While criticism is not a problem if it is presented properly and in a friendly way. In fact, criticizing is expressing your frustration about a particular issue, but blaming means attacking your partner’s personality because of his or her beliefs and feelings. By questioning, you are questioning the whole personality of the other party.
3. Have fun together
The results of a study published by the Mayo Institute show that the social interaction you have with your spouse in group sports increases life expectancy more than individual sports. For example, doing group sports such as tennis, badminton, or racquetball in the presence of your spouse will help increase life expectancy more than individual sports such as running or cycling.
“If you exercise for health, longevity and fitness, it’s best to turn your workouts into romantic sports appointments,” said James O’Keefe, co-author of the study, in an interview with the Times.
4. Increase emotional intimacy between you
Just as physical and sexual intimacy between couples is essential to a lasting marriage, it will not be possible to continue living without emotional intimacy. When you get emotionally close to and comfortable with your partner, your relationship will improve and your physical intimacy will improve. Emotional intimacy leads to sharing feelings, thoughts, beliefs, hopes, fears and worries, and dreams and aspirations. You get to the point where instead of judging, blaming, and blaming each other, you fully understand each other.
5. Be neutral and impartial when arguing
Elie Finkel is a book on social psychology called “Marriages or All or Nothing: What Are Successful Marriages?” is written. In this book, he teaches the audience a set of crisis management strategies. One of these strategies is to be neutral.
He says couples should look at things from the outside like a neutral person. Impartiality prevents controversy from escalating.
6. Review your sweet shared memories
Have you ever talked about the events that made you and your spouse laugh and rejoice? Do this a lot. A study published in the journal Motivation and Emotion shows that couples who share more of their funny memories with each other are more satisfied with their relationship. Scientists call this strategy “laughter reminder.”
7. Look for adventure and shared excitement
If you feel that your relationship is dull and stagnant, look for interesting, happy and exciting fun for two people. This can easily save your life and bring many benefits. The book “Marriages or All or Nothing” states: Psychologists say that going to art classes or traveling together increases sexual attraction between spouses and increases relationship satisfaction.