Many couples these days have to spend more time together. At the same time, the stress and anxiety caused by the current situation has made couples feel that something is missing in their romantic relationship. In this article, we are talking about the silent killer of romantic relationships. Stay with us.
These days we may hear such statements from many others; We may even say such things in our heartache with others:
- Very selfish!
- I will never understand!
- He is very obsessed, he even likes to eat his jeans!
- I must always pay attention to it!
- He always thinks that only his opinion matters!
The number of emotionally injured people is not small. These people are not happy with their relationship; Worse, they may feel that they have been neglected, persecuted, or emotionally abused. Unfortunately, these days we encounter more and more people who complain of emotional distress and annoyance in their romantic relationship.
Most people rightly believe that what they feel is right: too lazy, not listening at all, talking too much, not paying attention at all, and so on. Such distorted thoughts play a guiding role in a sea of frustration caused by traumatic relationships.
But stop here. Think well. It is impossible for your spouse to never listen to you or ever notice anything. You may feel this way, but in reality it is not possible. Suffice it to accuse someone else in the middle of the discussion of “you never listen to me” by explaining that “I listened to you for two hours last night” or “what do you say to yourself” آتش the fire of the fight intensifies.
We are not mind readers and we do not understand what is going on in the other party’s mind. No one is perfect. No one can be cold-blooded in the face of “you idiot!”, “You are grumbling too much” or “it is not as hard to get along with anyone”. These poisonous thoughts (exaggeration, labeling and belief in all or nothing) come as if there is no doubt about their correctness. Unfortunately, the emotional damage caused by these poisonous thoughts is significant.
If couples can manage these toxic thoughts in confrontation with each other, they will remove the big obstacle in the way of communication, empathy, trust and all the good things in the relationship. In such a situation, couples can work together to improve their relationship.
There are 9 types of destructive and harmful thoughts in an emotional relationship. These thoughts are seen in many couples. In some couples, not all of these destructive thought patterns are seen, but in all couples, at least one of these harmful thoughts is seen.
Destructive thoughts that are the silent killer of romantic relationships
1. All or None
In your opinion, your spouse always makes mistakes or does not do anything right.
Example: He always thinks he’s right!
۲. Tragic conclusion
One spouse exaggerates the negative consequences of the other party’s actions.
Example: He should not have spent this money, now our financial situation is deteriorating!
One of the spouses thinks that the other party will fulfill his wish; Because he thinks he should be aware of this request.
Example: You should know how much I hate someone, even if I tell myself and laugh!
You label your spouse unfairly, ignoring his or her positive traits.
Example: How lazy you are!
Unjustly and irrationally, you blame your spouse for relationship problems or bigger problems.
Example: You made me miserable!
6. Emotional connection
In this situation, one of the couples believes that the feelings and thoughts of the other party can not be managed.
Example: He can’t talk to you at all!
7. Excessive imagination
In this situation, you get a negative conclusion about your spouse’s behavior that has no logical basis.
Example: He is very busy these days, his head must be somewhere!
8. Clever play
You try to be smarter than your spouse by identifying his or her hidden motives!
Example: Very kind. He definitely wants to go out with his friend this weekend!
9. The torment of frustration
You live up to ideal expectations You focus Which is rooted in the past have.
Example: Always thinking of her parents. I do not care at all!
Some of these toxic thoughts may in fact be partly rooted; But the amount of distortion, exaggeration, and over-focus on them destroys the pleasures of a romantic relationship. The ability to search and discover positive behaviors and traits in our emotional partner helps to overcome toxic thoughts.
We all need to pay attention to things Be That destroy the romantic relationship; In particular, we need to educate children and adolescents about their exaggerated and distorted beliefs about themselves, their families, and their future partners.
Are you happy with your romantic relationship? Ever had toxic thoughts about your emotional partner? How did you deal with them and improve your relationship? Read your experience to others Who are struggling with a similar problem, help.