Almost all of us know habits, behaviors, and perhaps traits that we want to change from the bottom of our hearts. Some of these features, including our physical features, are inherent and unchangeable; But others can be changed or improved. In the poll «How about an Instagram pageWe asked users which aspects of their personality or appearance they do not like and want to change right now. Let’s see what answers they gave.
21% of users said that if they could, they would immediately change their laziness. As Mobina Shirzad said:
Laziness and not using all my energy to do the most important things in my life.
Laziness means the desire to be unemployed, to procrastinate, and to resist effort. Sometimes we all like to be lazy, especially after a hard day’s work or cold days when we can’t get out of the blanket! But when laziness becomes a habit, you have to think about it.
How to put laziness aside?
To treat laziness, focus on one task at a time. If you do 10 things together, you will not get results. Divide large, time-consuming tasks into smaller sections. Every part of the work that is done, the energy returns to you and you will move on to the next without delay.
Do not forget to rest, sleep and exercise. It is a type of laziness caused by lack of energy and fatigue that you can overcome with exercise and rest.
Think carefully about your goals, the life you want to achieve, and who you want to be. It motivates you.
Instead of trying to figure it out, focus on the benefits.
Think about the consequences of laziness. Understanding the consequences can lead you to do it.
Repeat to yourself, “I will do it successfully” or “I have enough energy and motivation to do what I want to do.”
Incompetence and strengthening of the will
13% of users admitted that their willpower was weak and they wanted to find a way to overcome their reluctance. For example, Roya Fardi said:
I wanted my perseverance and willpower to be more prominent than all my features.
Will is a reaction that comes from both the mind and the body. You know you should not (or should) do something, but you can not resist it. The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that helps us regulate behavior as well as make decisions. It is precisely this area that regulates the power of the will.
How can we strengthen our willpower?
Encourage yourself to act on the decisions you have made. Do not say, “I can not repeat this bad habit,” because you are creating a feedback loop that reminds you of your limitations; It is better to say, “I will not repeat this bad habit”; For example, instead of saying, “No, I can not eat this sweet,” say, “I will not eat this sweet.”
Get enough sleep. Sleep deprivation causes chronic stress that impairs brain function for energy consumption. Getting enough sleep for 6.5 to 7.5 hours a night can improve the function of this part of the brain.
Meditation is one of the ways to strengthen the will, attention, concentration and stress management. Meditate for at least 8 weeks.
One way to strengthen your will to change bad habits is to postpone them. People who say “no now, later” in such a situation are less tempted than those who do their best to avoid it and constantly struggle with themselves.
8% of users complained of anger and bad manners and were looking for a way to change it.
Do you go crazy with anger when you are behind the traffic? Do you make a fuss when your child refuses to do what you are given? Anger is a perfectly natural and even healthy feeling; But it is better to control it. Uncontrolled anger can have a detrimental effect on our health and our relationships with others.
How to control our anger?
When you are angry, you may say something that you will later regret. Ponder for a moment and let the peace return to you. Then talk about the reasons for your anger. The other side will be more rational in this situation.
Do physical activity, as it can reduce intense stress and stress (the main cause of anger).
Instead of focusing on what makes you angry, focus on the solution. Does your child’s messy room drive you crazy? Close the door of his room so that your eyes do not fall on it. Does your spouse come home late at night and you can’t have dinner together? Schedule a few days a week to go out or have lunch together. Avoid sarcasm, as it only makes things worse.
Do not take revenge. Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you let anger stay with you forever, you will gradually realize that bitterness has taken over your being. But by forgiving others, your being is cleansed of negative emotions.
Practice relaxation skills. Breathing techniques, repetition of soothing phrases such as “do not be hard”, yoga and meditation are very helpful.
6% of users wrote that if they could, they would change the fear in themselves.
Fear is a natural emotion in the face of unknown situations or stressful situations. The most common fears we all experience are fear of failure, loss of emotional partner, job loss, moneylessness, ridicule, loss of respect, and so on. Fear is felt exactly physically in the abdomen. Fear also leads to dry mouth, rapid heartbeat and shortness of breath.
How to get rid of fear?
Fortunately, no one is born with a fear of anything. All fears are created in us over time.
Find the root of fear. Ask yourself when this fear started. For example, if you are afraid of being in a group, find out when did this feeling first appear?
There is a law that says, “Whatever emotion you have, you will act in accordance with that feeling.” So if you feel brave, you will act as if you are just as brave. Build courage in yourself by repeating what you are afraid of on a regular basis.
Face your fears before it’s too late. The older the fear, the more serious it becomes.
Use the Sedona method. In this method, you ask yourself a few questions about your fears. By answering these questions, fear will gradually become meaningless.
Talk to the right person about your fears. A psychotherapist or counselor is better than someone who judges you or is difficult to understand.
6% of users wanted to change the beliefs that were rooted in them.
You might think that with clever methods and modern teachings, beliefs can be easily changed. If it were that easy, many of us would be successful in changing our beliefs and attitudes.
How can we change our beliefs?
First of all, we need to know our misconceptions. These beliefs are ingrained in our subconscious, and because 90% of our actions come from our subconscious, these beliefs affect almost anything we want to do.
1. Awareness of the different parts of a belief
The first step in changing a belief is to understand its structure and identify the emotions associated with it. See the following examples:
I am not lovable at all: Self-judgment that creates a sense of worthlessness.
I hate my bodyFeeling dissatisfied and ashamed.
I should not have done thatFeelings of guilt and shame.
These thoughts are initially just a sentence or phrase, but when the feelings about them intensify, they become a belief. Our beliefs will only change when we let go of our feelings about them.
For example, when we attend a business event while we are wearing jeans and we see that everyone has come there in formal clothes, our different emotions intensify. The first feeling is that they are looking at me and judging me. We say to ourselves:
“Really stupid (feeling worthless). I must have misread the invitation (feeling stupid). I have to go back and change my clothes (doubts and insecurities about this decision). My boss will disappoint me (feeling low). I can no longer be promoted (fear of losing my job). “I’m sure he will fire me (feeling miserable and hopeless).”
When you were wearing those clothes, you were satisfied with yourself. But when you were confronted with that different situation and set of beliefs, those feelings became active.
۲. Get rid of the emotions associated with that belief
To change a belief, we must change a powerful component called the emotions associated with it. It is the intensity of these emotions that makes changing some beliefs easier and others more difficult. To get rid of these feelings, we must change the false identity of that belief.
3. Changing the angle of view to change the wrong identity
When you repeat to yourself that you are always a loser, this becomes your belief. Because in this case you are only emphasizing your negative trait, you are gradually accepting this distorted image. Even the constant affirmation and saying “I am very smart and successful” cannot change this identity, because a part of our mind rejects it before this affirmation is positively institutionalized. So we have to change this false identity first.
4. Breaking the bonds of faith
Faith (not in the sense of religious belief) is a kind of personal power that turns thoughts into belief. When we are convinced of something or have passionate feelings, a kind of energy flows into us and keeps us away from any thoughts that contradict it. So when we believe we are stupid, we believe it; Because the image we have created of ourselves clings to us with the power of faith, and whenever we try to deny it, it returns to its place. To change a belief, we must break the faith that holds the false beliefs and identity of ourselves together like glue.
5% of users said that if there was a way, they would change their limbs.
Many people, even if they are so-called “roofed”, still have an area in their body that they are dissatisfied with. To solve this problem, you must first clarify why you want to change your body? Is it you who are not satisfied with it or others? Has it caused you any health problems or are you just unhappy with its shortcomings?
How to get the body we want?
- If you have not treated your body well before, forgive yourself and then make healthy and positive choices.
- Eat healthy foods and take the time to prepare them. Drink plenty of water.
- Avoid fast food, alcohol, cigarettes, hookah and other unhealthy habits.
- Get enough sleep. Get eight hours of sleep a night.
- Ignore the models you see in the media. Do not compare them with yourself.
- Every time you think negatively about your body, quickly say 5 positive sentences to yourself. Love yourself.
As Mohammad Sayeri said:
I would reconcile with myself and caress myself and say to myself: I love you boy!
5% of users really liked to change their naivety.
Simplicity is not a bad thing, but naivety is not. Excessive optimism and simplicity can be problematic.
How can we not be naive?
- Sometimes you doubt people’s intentions. If you are a good person, not everyone is supposed to be.
- Naive people believe others very quickly. If you do not feel good about someone, trust them to some extent.
- Cultivate common sense in yourself. To do this, read books in various fields.
- Learn from your mistakes.
- Pay attention to people’s faces, body language and voices. People who try to abuse usually refuse eye contact or become more insistent or angry when you say no.
- In times of failure, illness, or any other difficult situation that makes you vulnerable, limit your communication and avoid contact with people you do not know.
- Naive people are often the victims of scams by email or buying products through fake ads. It is not right to be distrustful of everything, but it is better to do good research.
Some other things that our users were very willing to change were stress (6%), obsessive-compulsive disorder (5%), sadness and depression (5%), low self-esteem (4%), and not saying no (4%). Shyness (2%), irritability (2%), social networking (2%), pride (2%), selfishness (1%), jealousy (1%), frustration (1%) and strictness (1 Percent) were. We talked about these issues in detail in previous polls and offered solutions to them. It is hoped that this will help you to change some of the habits and behaviors that you do not like.