We all seem to be stressed these days. From digital life to busy work and family life and new events happening every day in the world, we are all stressed; But despite the many unavoidable reasons for stress, we actually impose most of our stress on ourselves, and interestingly, we are not even aware of doing so. Of course, this is not true for everyone, but the simple truth is that many of us have developed habits that, while seemingly helpful, can be stressful. The good news is that with a little introspection and perseverance, you can eliminate most of this stress from your life. In this article, we want to talk about stress and name 3 hidden causes of stress and suggest ways to eliminate and reduce stress.
What do the hidden causes of stress mean?
Many people are either afraid or reluctant to find the hidden causes of their stress and suffering. Part of the reason is that this is not always clear. For example, depression has many incomplete and interrelated causes, from genetic vulnerabilities and inflammatory autoimmune reactions to rumination and stressful social factors. So it is not easy to fully understand all the hidden causes of stress that have caused you discomfort and torment.
But for many of us, despite these complexities, there are at least a few obvious reasons for stress that we can work on.
Some obvious causes of stress:
- Depression or anxiety (regular exercise is good for almost everyone who is depressed or anxious);
- Negative mental imbalances (boosting self-confidence is beneficial for many people with morbid mental speech);
- Difficulty controlling emotions (good, regular sleep habits are helpful for many people who have difficulty controlling their emotions);
- Problems with unresolved mourning (talking to a counselor is helpful for almost everyone who has problems with unresolved mourning);
- Anger (Regular practice of awareness and presence in the moment is useful for many people who have anger problems).
Difficulty fixing hidden causes of stress
The point is, there are many logical ways to address the underlying causes of stress and inner pain, but the problem is that they are difficult:
- Exercising five days a week during the month can probably be difficult, especially if you have environmental and physical limitations;
- Changing the habits of inner negative speech requires a lot of effort, patience and self-awareness;
- Changing sleep habits means you have to skip night parties, the last episode of the series you like, or spending the weekend with your friends.
So there are many challenges; But how we respond to these challenges is important.
Tolerance and treatment of hidden symptoms of stress
For many people, the challenge of overcoming the hidden causes of stress is very difficult, and so they turn to the mechanisms of coping and treatment of its symptoms, for example:
- The person who Social Anxiety Disorder He avoids going out so as not to worry about what others will think of him;
- An angry person talks to his friends for an hour and a half about what a bad person his boss is, because it is much easier than thinking inside.
All of this makes you feel good in the moment, but in the end it just distracts you, resulting in less time and energy to deal with the hidden causes of stress. One of the most common distraction habits we all have is anxiety, one of the side effects of which is chronic stress. It does not matter what your problem is, you will eventually have to accept the hard work and deal with the hidden causes of stress. If you resist again and do not want to go under the load, your condition will get worse and you will feel worse about yourself.
Three hidden causes of stress
1. Warm your head to escape discomfort
Many people who do not feel happy do not want to be left alone and, as a result, create difficult plans and routines to stay busy to avoid the anxiety that comes from being alone with their thoughts. Like other distraction techniques, being busy only works on the surface and can never deal with the underlying causes of stress.
When you are constantly busy, you put a lot of pressure on your mind and body. When you do not take the time to calm your mind and body and achieve silence, you pay the price and the price is stress. Our minds take constant busyness into account for a lower level of danger or challenge, and as a result, you are in a state of shock. War or flight puts. This means the constant release of a stream of stress hormones such as cortisol and, of course, chronic inflammation. Both are not a problem in small amounts, but when they are permanent, they destroy the body.
2. Instead of managing stress, you manage stress
The biggest myth about chronic stress that we all believe is that we need to improve in stress management programs, but in fact stress management is a very bad solution to the problem of chronic stress; It’s like sticking glue on a bullet hole! In fact, when we use stress management programs as our first stress management strategy, we are distracted from looking at the underlying causes of our stress and stressors.
If you are always stressed, the real solution is to treat the root causes, not the feeling of stress. For example, if you are always stressed at work, you can practice deep breathing during the day to reduce stress a little; However, no matter how much you take deep breaths, it will not help you to say no in the face of bulk. Feeling stressed at work is a message that tells you that a job is wrong. Relying too much on stress management techniques destroys this message.
3. You are not decisive
Determination is perhaps one of the most underestimated aspects of all mental health and wellness programs; While it is one of the best weapons we have against chronic stress. Decisiveness means clarifying values and pursuing them.
We are resolute when we take the time to separate fleeting desires from real goals and inspirations and then decide to pursue something that is truly valuable; Even if it’s worth losing something that makes us feel good and comfortable. for example:
- You are decisive when you are ready to skip the second ice cream, because you prefer a valuable goal (health) to a momentary craving (ice cream);
- You are decisive when you ask for a promotion at work, because you prefer value (receiving the reward you deserve) to feeling (the anxiety you will have if your application is rejected).
A practical example
To illustrate the importance of this issue, let us give an example. Consider two hypothetical people, Arash and Mina. Both have recently developed high blood pressure and cholesterol, and doctors have told both that they could be at risk for heart attack or stroke if they do not make major changes to their lifestyle and health.
Although Arash and Mina are similar in many ways (such as education, intelligence, social support, and financial resources), they differ in their degree of determination:
- Arash can hardly say no, because he is terrified of being judged. His lack of determination makes him do more than he can handle. As a result, in addition to stress, he always feels unworthy and guilty.
- Mina is assertive and although she does not like to say no to others and is sometimes embarrassed to say what she really wants to do, she does it and knows it is right.
Now, in your opinion, which of them can better tolerate the main stressors of having a serious illness? Absolutely Mina.
Disadvantages and benefits of not being assertive
- When you are under constant pressure and work, you can hardly take the time to exercise and prepare healthy foods.
- When you feel bad about yourself constantly because you have a lot of work to do, you can hardly maintain your self-confidence and meet your challenges.
When it comes to managing stress, lack of determination is a big problem, but it does not end there. In addition to being able to manage her stress much better, Mina also benefits from being assertive:
- Because he is assertive, he is better able to seek help from family and friends when he has a problem.
- Because he is assertive, he has more self-confidence and, as a result, is better able to manage challenges.
- Because he is decisive, even though he is old and maybe a little overweight, he is more inclined to go to the club and exercise regularly.
The last word
Most of the stress is born of the habits and defense mechanisms that we impose on ourselves. In order to stay safe from stress, we need to know the hidden causes of stress and try to stay away from these habits. To do this, the first three steps are necessary:
- Do not entertain yourself to forget the emotional suffering;
- Try to manage stressors instead of stress management;
- Be decisive.
Of course, many of us make the mistake of always trying to treat stress instead of treating the hidden causes of stress. Has this happened to you too? Have you ever paid attention to this issue? If you have tried the methods in this article, please share the result with us and our readers so that we can help each other solve this problem.