Suppose your spouse is washing dishes with an apron; You tell him how funny he looks in this situation. You probably think to yourself that you are making him happy with such a statement, but men’s perceptions of such definitions are usually the opposite of what you think. We have devoted this article to examining these misunderstandings in married life: we will introduce you to the comments and compliments that men are upset to hear. be with us.
1. “It’s great that you want to help with the cleaning, but I did it faster myself.”
Definitely so, and you are right. No one denies your expertise and ability to carry out your day-to-day chores. After a long, hard day, you probably prefer to do the house cleaning and other chores yourself; But if your spouse wants to help, give him or her permission! According to research conducted in this regard, couples who participate in daily tasks at home have a healthier and better sexual relationship.
۲. “I do not fold clothes like this, but thank you anyway for trying to help.”
Remember this rule and follow it from now on: Eliminate “trying” completely from your vocabulary. Your spouse will hear the word that the result of his work has not been sufficient and useful. In addition, it is not bad if everyone has their own way of doing the daily chores of the house.
3. “I was really surprised that you were able to repair the faucet.”
Do not be surprised when your spouse does something without the help of a specialist. If you tell men that you are “excited” or “surprised” to see their abilities, you are severely damaging their self-esteem. A simple thank you is all your spouse needs after doing his or her job.
4. “You’re the only one I can talk to.”
Not all men are happy to hear this definition. Some of them are embarrassed to hear such things. “Some men get stressed out if they realize or feel that they are your only support,” says Karin Goldstein, a couples and family therapist counselor. So instead, tell your spouse that you enjoy talking to him or her, not just your support.
5. “The gift you bought does not suit my taste, but the important thing is that you remembered me.”
You appreciate your spouse for remembering you, and that’s good; But sometimes saying that the gift was not to your liking is more harmful than beneficial. It is better to admire his generous behavior, even though you do not like the gift; On the other hand, show him exactly what you like in the shop window before the next occasion. In this way, you make it easier for him to buy gifts for the next occasion.
6. “You are so funny!”
Men are often upset when we address men with the same phrases we use when confronting children and pets. Men do not like these comments. Goldstein suggests using alternative words such as “handsome.” “People use superficial words when they want to avoid deep, intimate relationships,” he explains. “By choosing less commonly used words like ‘handsome’, you are sending the message that you love your spouse.”
7. “Although you are a child, I love you anyway”
Sometimes you point out your spouse’s flaws and shortcomings, but at the same time you do not want to break his or her heart; That’s why, after mentioning the flaws, you add a phrase like “but I love you”. The problem is that there is an unwanted critique of such a phrase. Goldsin recommends that instead of trying to soften these hints by expressing interest, use the following remarks: “It is commendable that you are intimate with the children and take the time to play with them, and I love this card; “I only need you sometimes to take my side with discipline and rigor.”
8. “My wife really threw stones at me.”
When your spouse is doing something romantic in private, you want to talk about it with your friends; But sometimes he (your spouse) prefers to keep such issues between you and not leak. It is a good idea to ask your spouse for his or her opinion before talking to others about these issues.
9. “You have a lot of baldness; “I love your little ones!”
This is one of the comments that upsets men. Instead, tell your spouse that you would rather have a man who is a loyal partner and a kind father than someone whose hair is thick and black, for example. Especially if your spouse feels insecure and unsure of how you feel about yourself, he or she will be happy to hear such a definition.
10. “You are the best man I know”
Remember that your spouse does not like to think about the men who have been in your life. If you want to praise him, keep your definition to yourself and avoid comparing him to others.